KeesKennis

On Day 1 a politic body would offer this picture as a sample of the poor exploited cat that have to watch as lions walk of with the prey.
On Day 2 he would say that he is sorry for the dirt marks on the computor screen and that they do not reflect the dirty marks on his Character.
On Day 3 he would reflect on the need for further laws to make dirty screens unlawfull.

On Court day he would confess that the marks on the screen are in actual fact honey that he put there himself to get the cat to show some interest in the computer screen, to get this photo.
But he would argue that he mispoke and was quoted mispokenly.

Comments:


I thought I saw a putty tat!
BTW Kees you've been tagged!
MrsJoseGoldbloom Homepage 04.30.08 - 5:58 am #

At the Anti Strib in response to their post More Reverend Wright Racism which actualy links you to the Corner on National Review where Victor Davis Hanson posted.
I quote from the Anti-Strib.
"Victor Davis Hanson, a brilliant historian gives his take (the link is in the title) on Barak Obama's racist minister's speech before the NAACP.
He says in part:
In short, Wright's speech on black-right brainers, white-left brainers — replete with bogus stereotypes and crude voice imitations — was about as racist as they come and at one time antithetical to what the NAACP was once all about. Again, the Obama campaign and its appendages have set back racial relations a generation. Just ten years ago, any candidate, black or white, would have rejected Wright making a speech about genetic differences in respective black and white brains. Now it's given to civil rights organizations by the possible next President's pastor and spiritual advisor — and done to wild applause for an organization founded on the idea that we are innately the same, while being gushed over by ignorant "commentators."
As I said before, between Wright's racism and hatred, and Obama's contextualization of what he has said, we have so lowered the bar that the next racist (and he won't necessarily be black) who evokes hatred of other races and then offers a mish-mash pop theory of genetic differences will have plenty of "context" to ward off public fury."

My Comment.

100 thousand years ago some early humans left Africa and ended up in Europe where the wheather was not as kind as where they came from. For starters they had to plan ahead and save food for the winter. The art of planning ahead was born.
Their fellows back in Africa were living of the land all year round.
Come live here for 6 months or more and prove me wrong.

QUOTE FROM POST:
"Seriously, if a white person had suggested that black and white brains were different that person would be (rightly) crucified in the media."

I am suggesting that comparing a Chemical Engineering major to a Basket Weaving/Feminist Issues major would not be considered racist, therefore VDH is wrong, The Reverend Wright is correct, but entirely Wrongh.
And now I make that faith based faith jump while blindfolded into the dark room.
(IE. No statistical or math based fact at all)
The same people (no racist comparisons) that grew up in completely different environments learn to think differently.
That (the lack of forward vision) is why socialism is looked at with favor.

NOTE
I do not know how to emphasize the QOUTE, nor do I know how speeellllchek.
Off course back at the range of KK i acn od tatht

Comments:

"The same people (no racist comparisons) that grew up in completely different environments learn to think differently."
Yep, that's why humans can adapt to different environments, the ones that don't learn to think differently die."
I do not know how to emphasize the QOUTE, nor do I know how speeellllchek.
Off course back at the range of KK i acn od tatht"
Kees, are you posting in Afrikaans? LOL
BobG Homepage 04.30.08 - 7:48 pm #

Well said.
hammer Homepage 04.30.08 - 12:50 am #

... work when displayed correctly.

Please see example below.

Comments:

Ack! Keesie! Need eye bleach!

Maeve Homepage 04.30.08 - 7:06 am #

I told grandma that her bathing suit was on backwards...but no she doesn't listen.

hammer Homepage 04.29.08 - 10:27 pm #

To accept a gig like this.

Comments:


Every so often the beasts get tired of this bullshit, and clamp down.
Hilarity ensues.
Bane Homepage 04.30.08 - 10:52 pm #

GO FOR IT JIMBO!!!!!
Maeve Homepage 04.30.08 - 7:07 am #

Jesus H. Christ!!!!!
Jim - PRS Homepage 04.29.08 - 10:39 am #

Hell, even if you knew it wouldn't bite, can you imagine how that thing's breath smells? No way...
BobG Homepage 04.28.08 - 9:11 pm #

And this concludes the beer portion of Boobies and Beer Monday, if that slacker did not phone in and said he was sick/drunk, he will have better than this.

Comments:

I think youv'e covered all the bases Keesie.

Maeve Homepage 04.30.08 - 7:08 am #

I don't know about necessarily better, but it's close.

Ralphd00d Homepage 04.28.08 - 11:01 pm #

At least we know they won't drown.

hammer Homepage 04.28.08 - 9:29 pm #

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And I laff and laff everytime a peep clicks on that, I hope they laff and laff as well.

These cute little cubs will enjoy your flesh once mama or papa takes you out.
Beautiful.

Comments:
It's just Mother Nature being herself.
BobG Homepage 04.24.08 - 6:36 pm #

I think the ex vice president is correct: This is heating up, mega.

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Now, now, don't get yourself into a knot, please.

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Some cats are luckier than others

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Sometimes we wonder where queers come from?

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At other times we just rejoice

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Well that brings to end another monday Boobies and Beer post, go and look what the Ralf Dude has up.

OK, ok, here is the beer portion.

As if you needed that.

My previous post is all about snakes.

As I was trying to find (google) out whether the snakes were "pofadders" or "gaboon vipers" I came about this post from "Acidman" , jeebus he wrote and wrote about everything. I miss him.



" More cognitive dissonance


The company brought in a guy from Australia to fill a vacancy in upper supervision. His name is Sean, and he is of Indian descent.

He speaks with a Paul Hogan accent.
So, I now work with a guy who resembles the Son of Ghandi, has an Irish name and talks like Crocodile Dundee.

No wonder I stay fucked-up.

He blows every profiling circuit in my brain.
From what I've read and seen on TV about Australia, that country has every kind of kill-ya-dead critter on the face of the planet.

They've got snakes that give you two steps after a bite before you die. They've got Great White Sharks. They've got posionous sea-eels, poisonous spiders, posionous insects, posionous duck-billed attack-killers and evil shit EVERYWHERE!
I want to go there, but I am afraid of that place. But, I digress.
Sean saw his first Georgia rattlesnake the other day. (Yeah, those fuckers are out and about now) He saw this "strange reptile" crawl out of the swamp and go under a "runabout." (That would be a four-wheeler to an American.) He went over to make sure no one hopped on the runabout four wheeler, took off and injured the snake. He got a piece of pipe, dragged the snake out and "trapped it."
Any red-blooded Cracker would have used the pipe to stove in the snake's head at that point, but Sean is an Indian with an Irish name who comes from Oz. He didn't know what he had, but he didn't want it to get away. He kept it trapped until somebody native came by and told him, "That's a fucking rattlesnake!" and killed it.
Afterward, he suggested a safety meeting. "Mates, I don't know your snakes here. But the fact that one like that, which I am assured is posionous, can crawl into the plant is a point of concern to me. Was that a large one? Do they all look like that? Do we need to warn the operators of the dangers? Is it common to find a snake in the plant?"
Boy, did he get an earfull. That rattlesnake was a baby. The BIG BOYS come slithering in this time of year, especially at night. The plant is lit up like a World's Fair after dark. The bugs are attracted to the lights. The frogs are attracted to the bugs. The snakes are attracted to the frogs. People find the snakes and kill them.
It's Mother Nature at work.
YES, we kill a lot of snakes in the plant. We're in the middle of the fucking marsh and woods next to the Savannah River with LOTS of excellent snake habitat all around. NO, we've never had anyone bitten, but it's a wonder, considering the snake-rich environment and the number of them who crawl into pallets and boxes that are stored outdoors.
When I was running the Acid Plant, which was WAY back from the rest of the plant, I came to work one Monday morning and noticed a lot of people in the control room that usually weren't there. I said, "'Morning," went to my office, opened the door, turned on the light, picked up my status sheet from the desk and walked back to the control room.
"Goddam! Somebody told you about it!" I heard.
"Told me about what?" I asked.
"The goddam snake in your office!"
I went back to look and my heart almost stopped in my chest. Those fuckers had killed a six-foot rattlesnake the night before and coiled that sonofabitch up RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DESK, hoping to scare the shit out of me when I came to work. That snake was as thick as my calf with almost a dozen rattles. He was a full-grown nasty bastard. I don't know how I didn't step on it when I was gathering my paperwork.
If I had stepped on that snake, looked down and seen what was there, I just might have shit my pants. That's what everybody was hoping for.
I said, "Get that dead meat out of my office. And if you fuckers ever do anything like that again, I'll fire every goddam one of you."
I don't like snakes.
And Sean needs to spend some time on the internet learning about rattlesnakes, copperheads, cottonmouths and corals. We've got 'em all.

Posted by Acidman @ 06:01 AM TrackBack [2]

In the act of copying I removed all the comments, but left this one.

Go and read the others.

Comments
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Fucking worms. Ugh. I'm not going to get into any "mine are worse than yours games", but let me just say:
Africa.
Black mambas. Spitting cobras. Gaboon vipers. Tree snakes. Bird snakes (no antivenom works with these fuckers). Puff adders. Green mambas. There may be others but I've forgotten them, thank Og.
Scorpions, crocs, trees with deady noxious vapors given off at night.
Then, in the country, add lions, leopards, hyenas and the usual merry crowd of carnivorous mammals.
No wonder I left. Texas is like a rest home after that lot.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on June 23, 2003 05:38 PM "

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As we all know my oldest sister has left Africa to be a Professor at an American University, her kids are Americans.
Kim is a hardcore American.
Let me tell you about AFRICA.
You have to be wide awake, all the time, no snoozing.
You are here as long as you want to.
You can have all the arms you need.
Be ahead of the masses, bribe, bribe and more.
When SA told me I can't register my 9 firearms because they do not fit certain criteria, I arranged a burglary and now my families gunny heirlooms reside in a bank vault in another African country, where I can control them.
In Zambia, Tanzania, The Gambia and Botswana I don't carry a side arm, it is not against the law in 3 of these counties, but it is not necessary.
In the DRC I carry, illegally, a Walther PPK in 7,65mm (.32ACP), and I found by googling tonight that it is the most popular Walther PPK.
I used to carry as a sidearm a "Starr .22", other details are missing from my brain.
This particular firearm turned out to be very efficient when applied correctly.
All the SA's, Ivory Coast's, Uganda's, Mocambique's, Angola's etc have gone by and I have found a safe place to live for me and to raise my family.
Brains?
Streetwise?
Alert?
Who knows or Wu noes, who knows.
The Chinese are knew, or new, but like the others before them I am sure to earn big bucks, live like a KING, and to be secure, until we throw them back.
Africa has a longer memory than China.
Fuck if we could corrupt the English we could corrupt anybody, you just have to have the will.

I am not taking him on, but just as I tell my Sister that she should reconcider, I am just wondering if Kim has second thoughts, sometimes, maybe.

I will most probably buy a property in the USA in the near future, I am not stupid, but the thrill off living in Africa will never die and would not like to live anywhere else.
A wild man in a wild place, that's me.

AFRICAN'S do not make good rulers, not even half or quarter ones, do not elect.
Women is suspect as well. (except Maggie)

Actualy all socialist and or communistic candidates should be ignored.
I know, I know, I know, I dont vote, so FUCK OFF.
Don't listen, stew in youre own juice.
And please join me in safari to the Serengeti and Ngorongora Crater, discuss amongst yourselves.
Just to brag I can tell you that I have shot ...............

This morning as I was driving to work I saw this for sale next to the road.

I believe they are, or were rather, Gaboon Vipers.

And yes they are destined to be eaten later today.

Quite nice meat.

Here in the DRC where hunger is everywhere and the farming has been disrupted by war, I don't know what my feelings are about this.

I am sorry for the snakes and the people, but the people come first.

Also if you live on the ground in a grass hut, killing snakes is the sensible thing to do.

Comments:

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mmm a pot,some chili powder and a can of beer and I could make even that taste good.

hammer Homepage 04.23.08 - 7:13 am #

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One early morning in Oklahoma, I was waiting with the crew by the trucks, waiting for the owner to come out of his house and issue marching orders. He finally came out, in his robe and pj's, and a cup of coffee, and came down the slope, through the trees, and about halfway down, he gave this weird little hop up into the air, and came down to us, sipping his coffee.

He pointed at me and told me to get a damned shovel and get up there and kill that fucking copperhead he had just jumped over.

Another time, we were digging a trench to put in a Conoco pipeline, and a portion of it collapsed. So I went into town and into a black bar and asked who wanted to make some money digging, and got me a truckload of black guys for the day.

I was down there with them, in this deep (over head high) trench, supervising, and digging, and down the trench a ways, I saw that the biggest damn cottonmouth I had ever seen had fallen in, cuz snakes are dumb. And he was mad as can be, and slithering along, trying to get out, then slithering some more, and fast as heck, and like I said, as big as a damn good sized boa constrictor.

The blacks saw it about the same time I did, and oh my, you should have heard the screaming, and watched them try to claw their way out of that hole. They went totally spastic.

And we only had one ladder. And I knew I wasn't gonna make it in time. So I swung the shovel like a bat, and hit that big bastard in a head the size of my shoe, and when he went flat I took it off with the blade. I drug it up and out of the trench, and let them have a break to get their shit together, and then sent them back in to work.

And I went over and hid the snake under the back seat of the crew cab.

Now there was a gift that kept on giving, I'm here to tell you.

Bane Homepage 04.23.08 - 12:37 am #

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My stomach mostly.

keeskennis Homepage 04.22.08 - 12:57 am

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You work?

GUYK Homepage 04.21.08 - 7:28 pm #

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Make some nice belts out of those. And they're big enough to make a couple of good meals.

BobG Homepage 04.21.08 - 5:08 pm #

Comments:
You ought to smell the emanating olfactory magnificence during a drive through chemical alley one of these days...if you're ever in the states. That shit'll curl your damn nose hairs.
Erica Homepage 04.20.08 - 6:27 am #

From Brog d'Erisson in the comments at this post by Elic.



"You'rr look gleat in a corander. I can imagine it would be especiarry smashing if you weal a kirt with it. I think you might rook quite fielce."

Ribby Spencel Homepage 04.18.08 - 8:30 pm #

And yes I have to aglee with Ribby (after she thleatened to destloy my stash), that he rooks lathel fielce in spite of the whimsicar smire I am sule he would rike to thleaten to smash my skurr.

Who knows anybody arive after they ignoled a Ribby suggestion?

My Motto aftel arr: Make Onry the shit you can handre.

Eintlik is dit: Maak net soveel kak soos jy kan hanteer.

Plevious histoly of this pictule.

The same shovel waved arround by Guyk can be seen below.

SWEETHING FOR PRESIDENT

Photoshop: The Gentlemans Leisure Time.

Comments:

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Hory Clap!

Erisson Homepage 04.20.08 - 7:04 pm #

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.... we don't need no stinking helmets!!.....

Eric Homepage 04.20.08 - 3:16 am #
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Yep. She has my vote

GUYK Homepage 04.20.08 - 3:04 am #
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I'd vote for her before any of the people that are now running.

BobG Homepage 04.20.08 - 2:52 am #

Guyk should get something like this, he is qualified to use it.

Comments:
yep,looks like a Gatlin..
GUYK Homepage 04.20.08 - 3:03 am #

Some guy and his girlfriend or girl friend get together and they practice and try and finaly they produce very nice picture, which I posted here.

And then it falls into the hands of a bored philosopher and he thinks what if time stood still, gravity is mulled and much much, much more.
The results below are only because my Photoshop skills are not up to my mind, sick as that may be.

For those not accustomed to daydreaming with photo shop I would like to say, practice, it is good.

Comments:

ROFLMAO!

Maeve Homepage 04.19.08 - 8:41 am #

Dazd, the guy at the bottom in the piccie above, says he didn't understand what Keekennis stood for, I am truly Dazed, and then there was some talk of drinking, I couldn't follow that, but who am I to debate.

Thankz Dazd

Comments:


hahahaha Awesome Kees!
Dazd Homepage 04.18.08 - 3:34 pm #

Now that's to funny. Hey Dazd... You look a little confused.
Becky Homepage 04.18.08 - 5:06 am #

That pretty much looks like I will be in July at OTL.... Good thing I have good friends going with to make sure I get back to my room.
Ralphd00d Homepage 04.18.08 - 1:26 am #

The last help that I got around here got it all wrong

The next one went overboard

I am going on leave at the end of this month, please help me out.

I am also asking Elica to substitute for me, but she left me with her bookshelf exposed and She knows how dangerous that can be

The Lost Fart of Blogging

Bob can write.

This cracked me up completely.

Scrabble Play

Joyce: There! I just added four letters to your word and covered the triple-word score. Thirty-three points!
Bob: Ummm, dear -- do you know what that word means?
Joyce: Don't worry, it's a word -- I looked it up in the Scrabble dictionary.
Bob: I wasn't questioning whether it's a word. I was just curious if you knew its meaning.
Joyce: It's one of those Italian ice creams, or something -- right?
Bob: No, that would be GELATO. FELLATIO is more like a Popsicle.

Comments:

The funniest part of the joke is that my innocent Joyce would never play one of "those" words.
Bob Homepage 04.21.08 - 1:17 am #

Stu delivers as promised.
A female colleague asked what was so funny and I had no reply.

I have just added Redhill Kudzu to the peeps on my roll.
Go and read what he has to say.
If there is anybody out there that has KeesKennis on his or her or its roll and I do not have you on mine, please let me know, and I will rectify that pronto.
Besides the warm fuzzy feeeling that you get arround your nether regions, the world will go on as allways.

The slow and carefull intimidation of Cowboy Blob is starting to work.

Winner!
The Ninth Stage wins with:

I know it's supposed to be non-lethal, but with that New York trigger I think I just squeezed one off in my pants.

Runner-up Kees wins a link with this photoshop.

Congrats to The Ninth Stage.

Go and vist Blob and scare him some more and tell him nice things about KeesKennis.

All Hail to the Blob

This guy and his wife is discussing some new Olympic promo condoms that he bought.
He: "I think we should use the Gold first"
She: "Why don't we go with the Silver first?"
He: "Any reason for Silver?"
She: "I would like you to come second for a change"

*****

As I was typing that joke I wondered if any of my male readers can tell us a story when he wore an Bronze condom.

Comments:


Irish gays take the bronze,when they come in turd
Ole Phat Stu Homepage 04.15.08 - 2:16 pm #

Giggling like a kid here Stu. TOOOO funny.
keeskennis Homepage 04.15.08 - 2:47 pm #

I have been tagged by the self appointed Best Granpa in the World with the 6 word life story meme

Memes mean rules and Kees does not do rules or he does them badly.
So here is the six words.

Make shit that you can handle.

Of course seven words would have said more about Kees's life story rules.

Make only shit that you can handle.

As I said I don't do rules very well, alas.

As for the rest: Go Tag Yourselves

Category 1: Boobies in good taste.

Category 2: Boobies in better taste.

Category 3: Boobies in beer taste

Comments:

How did you get that picture of me? I thought I bought all the copies on the market.

Libby Spencer Homepage 04.14.08 - 8:14 pm #

*****

OMG, that was so funny!

Maeve Homepage 04.14.08 - 6:19 pm #

*****
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love it when I run across someone as weird as me

GUYK Homepage 04.14.08 - 4:48 pm #

You start a blog, you are an African hick, women and men misunderstand you, you get some breaks and the feaces hit a swirling device (see below)

No this is not a pigment of my imagination.