31 May 2009


The "Observer"

SUBTITLE: Pshycobabble

Flying from country to country as I do, the Cat's Mother and me are often apart. A fact that I regret, but nonetheless a fact.
So as I have no ulterior motives I observe what happens between males and females when and where I meet them.

As I have grown older my hearing have gone down. "Duh"

So here I was tonight in a local restourant in Pretoria in SA.
There were 3 tables inside hearing or "lip reading" distance.

Table one had a black and a european male and 2 black females. All youngsters about 30 to 35.

Table two seated a elderly fat male and two young very smart females, all european.

Table three had two moffies, one old, at a guess, about 69 or 70, and the other at about 45.

T1: I gleaned by virtue of my lip reading skills and by the fact that I can listen to conversations in Afrikaans, English and some Xhosa and Zulu and Sotho and Fanagalo (local slang spoken in the mines) that:
The Euro is the boss and that he wanted to spyker the one chick but he had to ask the other two out as well to cover that fact. He only understands English (poor dude), so they (the other three) were openly discussing, in Afrikaans and Sotho, how to use this to their best advantage.
Spykeree : "Should I ask for a increase or money for the spyker?"
2nd Female : "More money, he is very rich"
Local Male : "Much more money", that is if I translated "plenny dolla" correctly.

T2: It turned out to be a sort of anniversary: This was the 2nd year after Fat Outoppie ditched his previous wife for one of the two woman. As one off the woman had a gold ring on the ring finger of the left hand I wrongly presumed that she was the new missus. She turned out to be the daughter. The new woman had a big diamond ring of that she wore on her right hand because, as he said in Afrikaans " keep it there then your husband can't sue us"

T3: They couldn't keep their hands of each other and the left in a Jaguar. The younger mof settled the bill.

T1: The local black male got pissed and started to talk very loud. The european dude was embaressed but very horny, he called for a taxi and the other two left in it.
They were still there when I left.

T2: The daughter got her daddy to tranfer some money on his blackberry and left shortly afterwards. The Outoppie and his new girl were holding hands as I left.

I had a "Surf and Turf", that is 6 prawns and 250 g rump and enjoyed my meal and my observing.

Oh, I also had 3, or was it 4, double Klippies and Coke.



You go to much more interesting restaurants than I do.
Hammer Homepage 06.01.09 - 12:24 am #

Ditto what hammer said.
Maeve 06.02.09 - 3:14 pm #

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Swine Flu

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26 May 2009


Stalagtiete of stalagmiete

Today I visisted a friend and his wife.
While I was there the doorbell rung and my friend's wife jumped up and said "Oh goodie my designer is here"
So my friend and I were left in the lounge as they were redecorating the dining room.
We were called in to say that "We were happy" with the results.
I was not, and said that the walk through space was too small.
The Designer said "I can walk through there with no problem at all"
I replied "Yes you can, if you are sober and stop swaying you hips"

I am awaiting my next invitation, though.


Joan has it spot on.

Re: stalactites and stalagmites.
Know how to tell the difference?
If the mites go up the tights come down!
Joan of Argghh!
Homepage 05.26.09 - 9:29 pm #

Maeve 05.28.09 - 6:01 am #

lol Designers sure like to swish, you'de think they'd leave space allowances for prancing.
Hammer Homepage 05.28.09 - 10:15 pm

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22 May 2009


Hoisted - A meme not for the faint hearted

We have to celebrate the 1 and oy'nly Elisson.
He is normal.
One day, one of my Demented Engineering Buddies got into the lab supply lockers and found 16 gallons of reagent-grade ethanol. Good night, Irene! It was time to par-tay

Hoist on my own petard! Aiyeee!

He is loved.
We love blog sex symbol Elisson of Blog d'Elisson's.

He also swerves and dodges:

Better than a meme: let's call this a Schmeem.


How this got published is beyond my limited brain
"Normal" depends on who you compare yourself to.
And you, Keesie, are incomparable.
:DElisson Homepage 05.24.09 - 2:48 pm #
Ta Dude

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08 May 2009


New Words

When accosted by ignoramus's and idiots you use fingurative language.
I am good at this.
Elisson, Vman, Joanie/AKA Gus, the deep sea diver, could use the extra N now and again.

BTW, what is it like to owe that much money?


I've come to enjoy not knowing what the fuck you are getting on about!
Joan of Argghh! Homepage 05.09.09 - 3:24 pm #

KK: Awe c'mon Gus, you Kant be stoopider than ELi!!

Stupid asshole = ignoranus.
Credit goes to Sasha Baron Cohen (AKA Ali G.) for that one - and it uses an extra "n."
English is a great language for its huge vocabulary - and the ease of coining new words. If I need a new one, I just make one up.
I wish I knew more Afrikaans. "Lul" is about it.
Elisson Homepage 05.09.09 - 3:28 pm #

KK: That fingures and it is Yo! and I love new words.

I love it when I've been away and knowing fuckall about anything and I can make shat up. And sorta fit in.
Finguratively speaking.
Kim Homepage 05.10.09 - 1:19 am #

KK: Dat is great, when I come back I have to wrack my brain to fit in, Finguratively speaking.

Keesie is my favorite short bus window licker......xoxoxo
Maeve Homepage 05.11.09 - 5:27 am #

KK: I do hope that you will drive me and the Cat's Mother arround (not the bend)

Once had a girlfriend who was a hairdresser, she gave me a fantastic cut.Ooops, sorry, I seem to have an 'N' left over, fiNguratively speaking
Ole Phat Stu Homepage 05.12.09 - 5:07 pm #

I'm finguratively lost, and no one to point the way home...
Nancy Homepage 05.19.09 - 11:29 am #

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06 May 2009


So Sorry

The post below has been suspended and is now invisible as it still is a surprise for the one concerned
(replaces bitten off head back on shoulders)

Maeve Homepage 05.08.09 - 1:45 am #

See Post below (now ressurected)

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04 May 2009


16 days of R&R

I sent this email to all who have emailed me before that date

Hallo almal

Dankie vir Lana vir die spesiale foto
Gerda se "biographical relativism" soos per Carel from Gerda, comes to mind.

My en Cindy se oudste dogter, Tanith, word dertig, en sy word verloof aan Bradon (GROOT GEHEIM, STFU) en sy word 'n doktor of "er" in BIO CHEMISTRY die jaar.
Sy verjaar op die twaalfde dag van Mei 2009 maar ons beplan 'n groot parteitjie vir haar op die negende dag van Mei (die dag wat Esta 56 jaar oud sou word) om alles te vier.
Vida & Pierre en Carel & June het reeds gese (kappie?) hulle kom party.
Die res is welkom, "voluntary"
Kom asseblief of stuur groot geld asseblief.
Julle oudste boetie, en lelikste, maar met die mooiste en slimste dogters.
Kom asseblief
Nic S
AKA as Klasie or Keesie

For those with no clue:
Please come and join us with a
day of celebration as my daughter
gets engaged and turns 30 and
gets a doctorate in Bio-Chemistry,

OR send lots and lots of money

Or ask Elisson for clues

So if anybody makes it past the normal security give me an email
and come and enjoy a big party

So I might or might not dribble a bit in the next few weeks


Your Kees

WTF is that man, Klingon speak. The South Afrikaners on the rugby team speak like that, and they are some bad motherfuckers...the boys you'd want on your side in a pinch...says I. They gave me an award for matching 'em beer for beer one time...they were speaking Klingon...is all I remember as they carried me home...but I did hang all the way to the end. As I recall, the birds were chirping at the dawn. FUBAR for sure.Seriously, not that the aforementioned wasn't...Congrats to yours and you...Be cool with it.Sam Homepage 05.04.09 - 9:22 pm #

Too bad I couldn't convince Elder Daughter to go as my proxy. She just got back from a week in Jo'burg...not too far away.Congratulations to your lovely daughter - mine is turning 30 a week from today, but as yet is not engaged and has no doctorate in biochemistry - you are clearly a proud daddy, as am I!Elisson Homepage 05.04.09 - 9:33 pm #

Congratulations to your daughter and to her old man for getting it done right. Ya done good. Best to herOld Soldier Homepage 05.05.09 - 11:16 pm #

Whoot! You both must be so proud! Congradulations!Maeve Homepage 05.06.09 - 2:25 am #

Congrats, brother! Pass on to the daughter that I'm proud for her over here and I wish I could join the partyMCmostly cajun Homepage 05.06.09 - 4:22 am #

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