Kees = Baboon and Kennis = Knowledge: So you know what to expect. Everything said on this blog is true: Bulshit or Wisdom is your choice.
My love of nature far exceeds my knowledge of same. I have lived on this continent for 55 plus years. I know a bribe when I see one.
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On 2 July 1942, most of the children of Lidice, a small village in what was then Czechoslovakia, were handed over to the Łódź Gestapo office. Those 82 children were then transported to the extermination camp at Chełmno 70 kilometers away. There they were gassed to death. This remarkable sculpture by by Marie Uchytilová commemorates them.
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This not guns are killing kids
Kip Kinkel, 15, murdered his parents in 1998 and the next day went to his school, Thurston High in Springfield, Ore., and opened fire on his classmates, killing two and wounding 22 others. He had been prescribed both Prozac and Ritalin.
Read Further
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Good and Bad news
DOCTOR: I've got some good news, and some bad news.
PATIENT: Let me have the bad news first.
DOCTOR: You're going to be dead in three days.
PATIENT: Dead in three days? What's the good news?
DOCTOR: I'm banging your wife.
PATIENT: You're having an affair with my wife?
DOCTOR: Banging. I wouldn't dignify it as "an affair."
PATIENT: Well then you're banging my wife! How is the hell is that remotely good news?!
DOCTOR: You've got bigger things to worry about. How I envy you your perspective.
PATIENT: ...
DOCTOR: Anal, too.
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Liberals, socialists and communists will tax this person ...
Because he is willing to work.
Liberals, socialists and communists will steal his money through taxes and give it to slack shits that don't want to work and need booze money.
This is what Obama and Zuma is doing in the USA and SA.
For the slower of my lib readers, no, the photo was not taken in the USA or SA.
You are welcome
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19 November 2012
The top piccie is corect
Hi Eric I knew you would have picked up on 5:00 being wrong, so I fixed it for you. Eric Swg 9! is 362 880 and the sq rt of that = 602.39 So if you minus 1 you get 601.39 which is not 5: In the new clock that I Photospped 3! = 6 So 6 -1 =5. I hope this makes it clear.
Do not diss me on my English, you have been warned.
200 thousand years ago:
We were all immigrants wherever we found ourselves.
I am speaking of what I know. A little knowledge goes a long way.
The white tribe.
We fucked up and killed countless others. ...
Pale Males ponied up though and started a magic revolution.
We now have cars, movies, cell phones, real heavier than air flying planes, electricity, the internet and many more of some special others like super heavy hitting low weight golf clubs. I would not like to think I have too many commas in that last sentence.
And now some fuck from Kenya can call me a special racial fuck because he does not understand how a fucking TV works or he does not understand 9th grade math.
That was then/now
We engineers or peeps that make things work of all the colours of the rainbow should strike and say: Pay me or I will cancel my contract.
I personally refuse to pay anything anymore to any socialist sucking government
Think before you bring another little peep into this world. Is that to much to ask. Why must I pay for your droppings?
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Ny heart is sore. A man that I have known for fifteen years have just lost his wife to cancer. If you pray, please pray for him and his young child. Please think of them in these darkerst of dark hours and days and send them your best wishes. Thank you.
I have crawled out that hole of despair. I takes a lot. Life, what life?
My child from those dark days are with me today and she now has my grandchild.
My new wife of 14 or so years (sorry Pumkin) are with me today and with her comes two new children and another grandchild .
I also have 2 new SIL's
Life, this life, it is the only one we have.
My friend, please stay strong, life beckons and grins
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That smell about libs
It comes from them being easily fooled
Pinkest Menace can pump up his shocks. If it is free Uts Savoury
47 % in the US 90 % in Scotland are freeloaders, and I do not even want to guess about the % in SA. What can't go on will not go on. Even if you wish it with your deaarest heart
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24 June 2012
To my Kids
REMEMBER THIS
"Congratulations to all my friends who were born in the 1940s, 50s and 60s.
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank sherry while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, bread and dripping, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then, after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose, not from a bottle.
Takeaway food was limited to fish and chips, there were no pizza shops, McDonald's, KFC, Subway or Nando's.
Even though all the shops closed at 6pm and didn't open on a Sunday, somehow we didn't starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and no one died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy toffees, gobstoppers and bubble gum.
We ate white bread and real butter, drank cow's milk and soft drinks with sugar, but we weren't overweight because... we were always outside playing!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day, but we were OK. We would spend hours building go-karts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
We built treehouses and dens and played in riverbeds with Matchbox cars. We did not have PlayStations, Nintendo Wii and Xboxes, or video games, DVDs, or colour TV.
There were no mobiles, computers, internet or chatrooms. We had friends and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. And we ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, too.
Only girls had pierced ears. You could buy Easter eggs and hot cross buns only at Easter time.
We were given air guns and catapults for our tenth birthdays, we rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or just yelled for them.
Not everyone made the schoo! rugby, football, cricket or netball teams. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that. Getting into the team was based on merit.
Our teachers hit us with canes, gym shoes and threw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren't concentrating.
We can string sentences together, spell and have proper conversations now because of a solid three Rs education.
Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.
Mum didn't have to go to work to help Dad make ends meet because we didn't need to keep up with the Joneses!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like Kiora, Blade, Ridge and Vanilla. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
You might want to share this with others who grew up in an era before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives.
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26 May 2012
Ulnar opp
I first felt the loss of sensation about 6 months ago.
After a series of tests I landed with Dr. Martin Wells and he did the opp. My hand is swolen like a balloon but some feeling have already returned to the 2 fingers. 7 days to the soft cast and bandages coming off.
# posted by Joe : Thursday, May 17, 2012 3:29:00 PM
"Forgo cuddlier cock" is an anagram of "duck,crocodile,frog" all at the same time, and may even have something to do with turning 59. What are you trying to tell us? ;-)
# posted by Ole Phat Stu : Friday, May 18, 2012 8:30:00 AM
you know that us southerners just shoot them, take 'em to the bakery to make deer pie, and boil the antlers to make sexual stimulants.
# posted by Editor : Monday, April 16, 2012 11:39:00 PM
Such a great article which thort this was duck season but then I thort wrong I will forever wonder why rex is delivering this to a bakery. Thanks a lot for posting this article.
# posted by Jonathan : Sunday, May 27, 2012 7:18:00 PM
...for which I make no apologies. I do want to share an experience confirming this fact, however.
I have an employee, a horrid little woman, whose life is a sordid melange of hypochondria, neuroses, and paranoia. Other than that she's okay. Except for the fact that she wears the same powder blue sweatpants to work every day (she's a driver, not an office worker, but even so her appearance is borderline Hooverville). I would not be surprised to learn she lives in a shack over to the inert landfill.
At any rate, I knew she was in my boss's office to discuss a minor payroll matter. Something that could have been handled with a phone call, however she chose to address it personally. As the matter was rather trivial, I was surprised when my phone rang, and my boss said "Mr. C-------, could you please come over to my office, sir?" (We stand on a bit of old school southern niceties around here). I quickly replied in the affirmative, mostly out of curiosity. Which curiosity was sated immediately upon my arrival in his office.
My boss is a large, rather grave man, with more than a passing resemblance to Burl Ives. He normally exudes great gravitas. Now imagine the look on my face as I entered, and saw that the employee in question, standing in front of his desk, had a three-inch wide moist brown streak running the length of her buttocks. The woman had shite herself, and was utterly oblivious to this fact.
My boss's face was a stone mask of solemnity, lips pursed in concentration and fingers interlaced across his belly. But his eyes were absolutely swimming in tears. His mirth ducts were in full flower.
He saw that I saw, told me the nature of the payroll issue, and asked if I would be so kind as to resolve it. I looked at the woman and gave her a dismissive wave of my hand, said gesture full of both condescension and noblesse oblige, as if to say the issue had already been handled. It was an unfortunately imperious gesture, having that air of dismissal, but the plain truth is I was terrified of opening my mouth. I too had managed thus far to present a reserved and judicious appearance to this nattering woman, but I fully understood the thin tightope I was precariously perched upon. I had three sharp barks and a rolling guffaw attempting to explode from my throat.
We managed to keep our sober visages until she left the building, no doubt to do some grocery shopping and run other important errands in her blissful ignorance, but of course we collapsed after she left. It was a veritable cartoon scene of fist pounding table, handkerchief dabbing eye. High fives.
Am I ashamed of this conduct? Of course I am. But consider: a person doesn't always see eye to eye with their boss, but a man who will ring you up and have you travel all the way across the building just to see someone who has shit themselves is a fucking hoss. My respect quotient for the man increased dramatically. And to answer your question: of course I've shit myself. But never have I not been immediately aware of that terrible fact. And for God's sake. It wasn't a wet fart. It was goddam bowel movement.
# posted by Erica : Tuesday, March 13, 2012 3:15:00 AM
Haha, you linked the word "smell" to Parkway Rest Stop. I'm dyin' here.
# posted by Erica : Tuesday, March 13, 2012 3:17:00 AM
Unsee! Unsee!
However, I have seen a bungee jumper shit his pants & could hardly stop laughing :-)
# posted by Ole Phat Stu : Tuesday, March 13, 2012 1:10:00 PM
I have just been on the road/air/water for 2 days and am pretty fucked up, but I rebember being overjoyed at linking "smell" with a certain suburb of NY
Stu: I once saw a woman give a climbing expo and as she had to reach for the final lift she shat herself and the ropes she was holding onto. I could not control myself and was removed from the expo. Life 101
# posted by KeesKennis : Wednesday, March 14, 2012 5:40:00 AM
I don't think I have enough eyebleach in the house to handle that...
# posted by BobG : Saturday, March 17, 2012 12:54:00 AM
I feel much better about myself already.
# posted by Velociman : Sunday, March 18, 2012 5:23:00 PM
At least Vman you do not have to unsee that. I do not think that your actions were something to be ashamed off.
NOW go and kill that dog.
Please
# posted by KeesKennis : Sunday, March 18, 2012 11:23:00 PM