22 May 2008
Thank you
To Guyk for "Hey Y'all!" and "Hope He Ain't Got Et "
They are both real friends, officers's and gentlemen.
We must not be shy to give appropriate thanks to Bane, as he in his own shy, how will people percieve this?, unsecure and seductive way he not only scared myself but allso scared Goldbloom in Froth's comments. Asshole.
I am planning a new post on "Real Men do what the Fuck they want" and "Conservatives are Gentlemen"
Please help me out with real life ideas.
I have stopped shaking now.
And I cannot forget to thank Mr. Sir.Officer and GENTLEMAN, Mostly Cajun for the link to Awkward times .
Yet although we live 9000 miles apart, we could be brothers. Love Ya Bro.
There is hope for ANYBODY, Tanker started as a crew in a tank, the lowest possible beginning in all off military life. {You could go lower and enlist as a Marine or a Infantryman, but your chances of survivall also goes down}.
And now he is beloved by the whole world and He’s a decent sort and a true man.
Thank You Dale.
And a thank you to Maeve for leaving me with a half tot in the last bottle of whisk, had to drive 345 km to the closest bottle store.
BOOM BOOM BOM BOOM BOM
KK: "Translate it for me please Joseph"
Boom Bom bim bim boom dom boom
Josef:"He says, I am da big fat Guy wif da beard and I is wollied that you'se are OK"
Josef: "Boss why he speak so funny?"
KK: "Beats me Josef, but thanks for the messsage. Please send back that I am OK and will be posting soon"
Josef: "Aaah, dis posting that if you don' do it you you start shaking"
KK: "Just send the message and bring the bottle"
Josef: "Ok Boss"
Boom Bom bim bim boom dom boom
Comments:
I got the message.. sumbitch sent it at midnight though and woke up all the gotdam treerats..
I am glad you ain't got et.. yet
GUYK Homepage 05.22.08 - 9:13 pm #
Hope He Ain't Got Et
19 May 2008
Hey Y'all!
Kees allowed he was some 1500 Ks from the end of the last paved road out there somewhere in the DRC..I had to google DRC just to see where in hell it was at..folks that be the CONGO! It wasn't all that many years ago when people were eating other people there..and I don't mean in that bibilcal sense..
Ole Kees didn't say if he was off on a safari thing or if he wuz workin'..I hope it is the former. I hear tell what work in a four letter word..kinda like cussin'..even in Africa.
I have to tell you, I have a lot of respect for Keekennis. Living in Arica nowadays under the mostly socialist governments has to be a challenge...but Kees says he has lots of money for bribes and a big gun..I understand. That is about what it takes to do business in the USA nowadays..and will probably get worse next year after Hassan Obama gets elected. Kinda figure Obama is gonna try to pattern the USA government after Zambawi..
I don't quite understand what it is about where Kees says he be at..allows he can get e-mail bot can't get on his blog...now is this because of no internet...? Or is it because of the politics of the DRC...I suspect the latter..
Anyhow, hope you shoot something big..with four legs..Kees. Let me know when you are coming home and I'll put clean sheets on the bed and tell the help to come back...they may not...I gave them the keys to the liquor cabinet..oh, and I left a can of Maxwell House..your jumpstart just don't have no jump to it..
This be GUYK standing in for Keeskennis while he is in the bush chasing native girls.
18 May 2008
Awkward Times...
In response to Mostly Cajun's post on Gay marriage...
A note to...
The ones not wanting to be educated.
The ones that love living without the rule of law.
The ones that want to leech off others.
The socialists.
The communists.
The "we are owed" crowd.
The "art is more than life" people.
The people that break tradition for the sake of breaking it.
The people that scoff at religion and its regulations, and put nothing except ridicule in its place.
The drunks and druggies and other cannot care people.
The feminists.
Your time has come and will go again.
FUCK YOU ALL, you are welcome
Until that time...
I will protect me and mine.
The timid.
The hurt.
The disabled.
The needy.
They will find sanctuary in my home, even if they come from your abuse.
In the end I am not really responding to Tanker, but to something that he stirred.
PART TWO.
I was born in South Africa in 1953.
I am not responsible for Apartheid although I grew up right there and then.
I have thought for a long time that I have benefited from Apartheid, despite what my parents told me.
Now, in retrospect, I can say that they were correct.
My own work and work ethics, that I learnt from my parents and not from the Apartheid state schools, brought me to where I am.
Yes, the Apartheid system was wrong, and yet the communist/socialist system that replaced it is worse.
Polio amongst all people was eradicated in SA.
Malaria was curtailed in all areas.
Nobody died of hunger.
The GDP was way high.
Despite certain bad cases, more people had schooling of sorts, reading and 'rithmetic and writing, than now, although about a "billion" are schooled every year. A high school diploma carries the same weight today that a nursery paper carried then.
Everybody had access to primary health care.
The rule of law applied.
IT WAS A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY.
Woman and blacks were at the same level, except white women could vote at the behest of their males.
Am I proud of it?
NO.
Yet for the sake of me and mine I will, if I can, introduce a society like it with the obvious race issues not there, I am still thinking about the gender ones. (Keesie, YOU ARE FUCKED.)
I have not lived in a true democracy ever, and I don't think I ever will...because those like the EU, the USA and Australia are truly fucked up socialist states.
In the USA you only have to look at the present presidential candidates from the big parties to confirm what I feel.
In the UK a rabid left-wing Cameron is the conservative choice, god help.
In Fwance Mr. Bruni is the king, god help.
I will stay in Africa where my superior work rate and production rate makes me king. I will bribe and corrupt my way until I can carry all the arms I need and will live where I want to and I will prosper.
I might not be democratic but I am right.
16 May 2008
Notice
So all bets are off. Go ahead in any case.
Newness
Mondays = Boobies and beer, and variations on that.
Tuesdays = Raaitlaaik = for the first graders, laaik the States = Write a post like someone on your Blogroll.
Samples:
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Hammer:
I'll be offline for a bit.
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See it's easy.
==========
Another easy one is Elisson:
Well boys and girls and Rabbi's that read my blog, (I don't mind if my Rabbi reads my blog!), we will start of with the word 'fuck', not that that is a strange word to my American tongue, but it does not get to the same depth as the word 'dick', does it?.
=========
Jim from Smoke on the Water is another very easy one.
... . .......
I'm old, shame.
==========
Counting on Vman will not do, as I do not get "Lucky Pierres", it must be that I was well brought up.
Or stupid.
==========
Well DD got AAA for her Project about Tall Water, clever girl, with a clever mommy, I'll add, otherwise, I will have my head klapped from above.
==========
On Tuesday coming I will do "Sweething" and I would like her to do "KeesKennis"
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Bacterium Normalus I would like to give to Maeve, and that Critter that almost flew to Africa to fuckmeup/killme can be her witch/bitch
==========
No rules, just follow the rules.
TIPS ..... THESE ARE TIPS AND NOT RULES<>RAAITLAAIK you on Tuesday
If you want to swap with someone that is YOUNGER, please let them know by email or thru their comments at least 3 to 4 days before you do that.
Remind them every 6 or seven hours that they have to be ready to RAAITLAAIK you on Tuesday as they are likely to forget, as their brains are not fully formed yet.
If you want to swap with someone that is OLDER, please let them know by email or thru their comments at least 3 to 4 days before you do that.
Remind them every 6 or seven hours that they have to be ready to RAAITLAAIK you on Tuesday as they are likely to forget, as their brains are waning.
For ease of all snotnoses like Bobg, Becky, Maeve, Key, Misty, Tommy, El Capitan, Erin, Jody and Blob I suggest that all nominations, challenges and others be posted on this post as comments.
I also suggest that for the older snotnoses that they use this post as a forum, you understand 'forum'?, of course you dew.
Let CHAOS PREVAIL.
Erisson, as a plorific writer can of course take on several elderly or younger bloggers, I mean, his mind is vast, like he can do Elica and Winston.
Winston, besides answering Elisson can tackle Stu, and then Stu and Winston can do DOF.
DOF as he is a teacher with lots and lots of spare time can ...... Eric .... and then answer Stu and Wiston.
Eric can just love Scotland and Fiona and all will be well.
As I am the only living person that puplished a disagreement (I mean still living) with Bane, Goldbloom and Froth, I hereby dare them to confront me here, on Tuesday.
"We will now sing from Hymm number so and so for the good life that KeesKennis lived"
Sela
So I will be doing:
Raaitlaaik Sweething.
Raiitlaaik Bane
Raaitlaaik Goldbloom
Raaitlaaik Froth
And I hope they will be doing WriteLike KeesKennis (that is if they can get Drunk/Dumb/Stupid/Smart enough)
Please call your post RAAITLAAIK (assholeorwhoeveah)
Keesie does not laaik rules, so please break them allways.
There is an ambulance waiting for brain tumors, spasms, fuckups and screeches, please don't worry, OK
===================================================================================
Comments:=====
Hi Eli
Good to have you back, I have read that as research for this and thought that it was very good, but time to do it again, I like my pairing of Maeve and Dax and I would like to see you do Erica and Winston.
No RULES please, do what you want.
The more the Merrier.
Did you like the depth of my sample as Erisson?
keeskennis Homepage 05.16.08 - 5:29 am #
=====
It's been a couple of years since I wrote the ultimate "RAAITLAAIK" post.
Elisson Homepage 05.16.08 - 5:11 am #
I believe in angels
Dilemma, dilemma
Nobody will kick me in the balls or "Do no evil"
What birthday gift do you give a man who does not place value in material possessions; who does not want or need anything in particular? When I laid eyes on Keesie here I knew I'd hit the definitive jackpot, this happy 55th birthday and forever more. Ho-hum, unless Keesie here turns out to be female then who knows... little Keesies may follow. Yeah, a whole friggin troop of Monkey Mailers (it's a postbox too), Chimp Chatter, Babboon Buffoonery, and Gorillila'alia. Love you Keesie now and forever. Hope you have a primate of a year - my delightful man, and my wonderful mate. To more of your monkey-foolery... Lurve your tricks. Your Pumkin (The Cats' Mother), ps: let's hope this baby will keep our cats in line unlike you know who!
=====
Yes dear readers Kees is turning 55 and I had this wonderful object d' art as a prezzie from the Cat's Mother, and the old avatar is now so fifty fourish, sorry old Buff.
It is still a couple plus days to my birthday, but so what, let us all celebrate the joys that I feel.
Yes it is hollow to take all of my Keesie tricks.
It can also serve as a postbox.
Comments:
THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU:Last to First, or my virgin of that:
Dragonlady, we ain't speaking out of da bedroom, so no comment.
But on da couch, da living room and da stoep, woot.
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Guyk, sorry boss still a kid, hope you nevah grow up.
====
Jungle babie, if if wer'nt for that kid "the junior" ..... ah wtf ... love ye all.
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Ms Gold Bloom: Excuse me I love you. True.
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Old Soldier, us Oom's Rock, big time.
Jayne: No, it was his cousin, twice removed by 15 USD. (private joke with Jin), don't break your silly little heads about it. Will ya come and tell me about "vrot" here, again, can't get enough.
=====
Thanks Nefie Eric, I saw you spying from another address. Hope you and THE FIONA is having a brilliant time.
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Blob, bloody youngster, kak sal jy kak, dankie vir die beste wense.
=====
Gregor, good to know (not in the biblical terms) you mate and this is a good age to be as have been all my previous ages.
=====
What are you wooting about BobG, you are a person living in the same state as my Sister, start to learn how to pray and Kowtow.
OK, OK, she chose the wrong state, I know. Thank g*d.
Not the state to be a proffesor in Gender studies, is it?
=====
Maxx, welcome to the left field, odd field, right field: No Fuckit the Normal field.
I'm sprouting and are not old.
Old are for Democrats and wussies.
And for people with no tenses.
=====
Joan, thank you and I would like to Argghh! with you at any given time, give me some SLACK.
=====
Maeve, now Argghh!ing and lefting and right fielding and "getting laid" as per your latest post is/are getting mixed up.
Love you Maeve-and-the-Italian-and-Puddin.
My Witches ROCK.
=====
MC, The leftie shits will allow us to go down and then down again (wish) and then we stand up and Fuck them Up (wish), but true.
=====
Kim, Do I know you?, where have you been?, playing crosswords again?. Now, now don't get personal, or please do. Or "that there is no progress, only change"
Come hither you, and feel the growth, Hi MISTER FROTH.
keeskennis Homepage 05.16.08 - 1:27 am #
(Belated) Happy Birthday Kees!
Did Bob Mugabe model for that apie by any chance?
Hope you got suitably vrot!
Jayne Homepage 05.16.08 - 12:27 am #
.. many happy returns, Oom Keesie!...
Eric Homepage 05.15.08 - 9:07 am #
Happy Birthday to You
You Live in a Zoo
You Look Like a Monkey
and Smell Like one Too!
Many more happy ones, Oldtimer!
Cowboy Blob Homepage 05.14.08 - 5:15 am #
So did the monkey get a birthday spanking? lol
dragonlady474 Homepage 05.13.08 - 7:22 pm #
I was 55 once, but due to marvels of medical science I am now 39 and have been for the past 6 years. Say the magic word and I'll tell you the secret. It works. Bwaaaaaaaa
Old Soldier Homepage 05.13.08 - 4:23 am #
Happy Birthday to you,Happy Birthday to you,Hap-py Birthday Dear Keesie,Happy Birthday to you!
Holder 05.13.08 - 2:01 am #
Happy Birthday, Kessie! I'm right behind ya! I'll be cruisin' the double-nickles this October!
gregor Homepage 05.13.08 - 1:29 am #
Happy belated birthday Monkey Man...LOL. Hope your birthday was Woooonderful!
MsGoldbloom Homepage 05.12.08 - 9:51 pm #
Rex Homepage 05.12.08 - 8:39 pm #
only 55? damn...as full of it as you are I figure you wuz at least 56! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope to see you come December or so if you still are planning on making the trip
GUYK Homepage 05.12.08 - 8:14 pm #
BobG Homepage 05.12.08 - 7:36 pm #
But if you forgot how to use it, that's old.
maxx Homepage 05.12.08 - 5:09 am #
Woo hoo! Happy Birfday Keesie! 55 ain't old. Hell if you're still sprouting wood ya ain't old.
maxx Homepage 05.12.08 - 5:09 am #
Hope you're around for many more years of monkey-bizness, Keesie!
Joan of Argghh! Homepage 05.12.08 - 3:06 am #
Happy Birthday Keesie! Here is to many, many more years!
Maeve Homepage 05.12.08 - 1:31 am #
Oh, man! I was fifty-five once myself... You'll get over it. You don't want to think about the alternative.
MCmostly cajun Homepage 05.12.08 - 1:16 am #
Happy frickin' Birthday, Keesie!
Kim Homepage 05.12.08 - 12:01 am #
15 May 2008
The Cat's Mother is a GENIUS
Africa, in this case Zambia helps.
Guyk and Sweething and Nancy, this is not a competion just a comparison, here stuff grows and help is plentifull and not expensive (I Idid not want to say cheap, but could not spell reasenable)
Our Babaloo cat is burried here, say a cat prayer, please.
Our pondokkie in the background
It's a jungle out here
Banana's is/are cheap, but difficult to grow
I built that bridge
======
Congrats Pumpkin you have created a wonderland.
LOVE YA.
14 May 2008
Rhino
They make excelent pets if you don't mind your corpse having that trampled look.Comments:
Sounds like something my mother in law could use.
Just kidding mom, we love you! Really!
maxx Homepage 05.15.08 - 4:56 am #
13 May 2008
Cool
A engine running on a dynoThat is nice and hot but cool
08 May 2008
Promotional picture of the day
Funny, the ha ha kind
Wow
I have seen Papasan, mommasan, and five babysans plus the box of chickens and two pigs all on one Hinda 305 scrambler..and they were scrambling down Highway one
Guyk I'm only short of a pig or so.
