08 April 2014

 

Four Seasons ~ Vivaldi



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I do not employ anybody. My little influence here is that I have a big mouth in my community. So the deal is that everybody that post anything that is good about the Saudis or the Arab emirates or any country where woman are not treated as equals will be mocked.
So please hit the Unfriend button and go and buy some cheap gas.
King Abdul Aziz come and lick my ass.


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06 April 2014

 

A gallon of morphine

A gallon of morphine.
Morphine is a drug. It is the basest of all pain controlling drugs. When my wife Esta was dying from breast cancer She and me figured out that 1 cc here 2 cc there would not be noticed by nursing staff. We harboured a few litres of this deadly stuff. When she finally said after six years, "That was my final chemo" I respected but hated that. The Idea as we planned it was that... if the pain got to much I would apply a deadly dose. The Cancer was too much and too rapid, I flushed all that morphine down the drain. I could have used that on myself and wanted to but our daughter was just a troublesome teen. Me and my Daughter live full lives today. Count your blessings. You have more than you think.
In the preceding days I filled various syringes with various percentages of morphine and thought about our pact. I would have used it but I would have used it on myself as well.
 
 

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04 April 2014

 
http://uberhumor.com/dont-mess-with-the-quiet-kid#sthash.AnwuBpS8.gbpl
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Caption this

She got trapped trying to retrieve her phone.
If those are her boots and clothes lying around, I'd wait for a while.

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How weak can we get.

Just go up to him and klap  him on the ear. He will stop pissing that instant. I can tell you this from memory, even when it happened to me.
And if he pulls a weapon? Kill him.
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03 April 2014

 

Thinking of Bowser

I have had several bulldogs, lovely animals with a long history of human intervention.
They all look like this with colours ranging from black to white.
Bowser was brown with white patches. He disliked wheels and destroyed  a number of tyres from tricycles to bicycles to motorbikes and cars. We laughed it off until one day he viciously attacked a woman working for us. Hospital for her. I took Bowser to the vet to be put down. Because he was such a champion and he had the looks I was on the lookout for skulduggery. Sure as shit the vet insisted that I leave before he put the dog to sleep. I outstared him and hugged Bowser until he was dead, then I took his body home and gave him a proper tearful burial.
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When Keesie was about 22 - 24 years old he met a man "Dagennag Smit" With correct use of spaces it became "Dag en Nag Smit", meaning Day and Night Smit. This guy ran his trucking company by day and as the trucks pulled in at night he would be waiting with a forklift and would load the trucks and tie down the loads so that when the drivers presented themselves in the morning they could leave early. So he worked 20 hours per out of 5 days of the week. So on Saturdays and Sundays he was bored, so he sold building and plaster sand on Saturday. Using a decrepit old 5 m3 truck he left early on Saturday mornings and filled the truck himself using a shovel. According to him it was cheaper than any gym. On Sundays he did odd jobs for farmers to alleviate the boredom and that is how I met him. I was working as a hunter and living on a farm and Dagennag came to change a broken no 8 wind pump on a windmill. This pump weighs about 40 kg (88.8lbs). Dagennag came in at about 70 kg and he just went up the steel ladder and undid the few bolts and now facing outwards he strapped the pump to his back and then using leg power he stood up taking the weight of this pump and then slowly and methodically turned round, a handhold, then a foothold repeated until he was facing the right way. He came down and changed the pump on his back for the new one and repeated the exercise in reverse. I was struck down by awesome. I finally did the same a few years later. He of course became fabulously wealthy but he inspired and I am not doing too badly.
Work hard and prosper.


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Eye Contact

Eye contact can be tricky, if you know "wink" what I mean.
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Grammer Nazis revenge.



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I hope he succeeds

I hope this guy succeeds.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/video/portable-engine-makes-pedaling-easier/

HT to Fred
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06 August 2013

 

Days That Shook The World Hiroshima



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27 June 2013

 

Trans something or other

The sorry story:
My queer friend Wessel asked me to be his bodyguard when he visited a new nightclub.
I also had other queer friends, one liked to eat underboiled grasshoppers.
Wessel was queer because he wanted to stuff men, and as that was not the norm at that time and he called himself queer.
As I had no problem with him wanting to stuff other men I agreed to escort him to this new club and agreed to stop men from stuffing him, if he didn't want them to.
These queer club members were awfully aware of senses.
After I felled the first guy, that kissed me, with an elbow to his teeth, they all realised that I was, in their lingo, a babymaker.
We realy had fun finding the teeth, that was scattered all over the floor.
While we were hunting for teeth, on our hands and knees, I met a female escort of one of the other male queers.

Now that we have met Suzen, we can continue. (Names changed to protect the innocent)
With Suzen and me both having a background of queerness, we clicked.
We had sex on any notion that nobody had done so before.
On park benches.
In trains.
On planes. (I only said that because it rhymes)
In Taxis (It cost her/and me a fair number of bucks)
On the back lawn of her and my parents house.
In the movies.
In queer clubs, with our charges finding new experiences on the dance floor or the toilets.

The background has now been established so we continue with the story.

We did not love each other, we did not even like each other.
She was hard to come, I was good at making it happen.
I on the other hand was not good at making my age group accept my do it or effoff position (watch them youngsters)
We rocked.

The story continues.

The mayor of Verwoerdburg (Verwoerd = the founding father of Apartheid) sent a invitation to a mayoral ball to her parents, which she intercepted.
I made sure that the same invitation did not reach my parents.
Wessel from earlier in the story was involved.
Wessel by the way was built like a greek god, but walked funny.
He played the piano like a god, greek or otherwise.

By the time the speeches were finished, I was made up like a harlot and proposing to the mayor's aides, and with Suzen (made up to look like a masculine Kerry) and with Wessel in the background (looking like a daffy duck but with his muscles and genitals showing) they ran as hard as they could.

Once we chased all the queer people (those that believed they had god's handle on sex) away, we had a mayoral ball.

The police that was sent to clear us out (according to the capitan) was all cleared away by our own force of drink, sex, f*ck me, or all three.

Those that were not convinced was "klapped" hard by me or some very big queers.
I must add here that the queer's that did the "klapping" could have been male or female.

Am I queer or normal?

That was some party!!!

Real men can effin do what they like.
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28 February 2013

 

The Taliban's New, More Terrifying Cousin - The Atlantic

The Taliban's New, More Terrifying Cousin - The Atlantic
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Select the dog that you like

 






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27 February 2013

 

Sanity in a fucked up world


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10 February 2013

 

Once Upon a Time in War

Once Upon a Time in War
“Here, lemme light that.”
The spirit of man is never to be understood.

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On 2 July 1942, most of the children of Lidice, a small village in what was then Czechoslovakia, were handed over to the Łódź Gestapo office. Those 82 children were then transported to the extermination camp at Chełmno 70 kilometers away. There they were gassed to death. This remarkable sculpture by by Marie Uchytilová commemorates them.

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Fart like the champion you are



For OG
Comments:
Nice. if I had a tail, I could do that too. but then I'd be in the movies

 
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31 January 2013

 

Annotations RED



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Mechanical skill or Artistry


Above made by Keeskenis with the story here

Below the story is here



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Red Panda, you can eat the meaty bits


And the rest will look good as a rug: That is what I told a commentor on FB. I have no need for a rug or meat.
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This not guns are killing kids

Kip Kinkel, 15, murdered his parents in 1998 and the next day went to his school, Thurston High in Springfield, Ore., and opened fire on his classmates, killing two and wounding 22 others. He had been prescribed both Prozac and Ritalin. Read Further
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Good and Bad news

DOCTOR: I've got some good news, and some bad news.
PATIENT: Let me have the bad news first.
DOCTOR: You're going to be dead in three days.
PATIENT: Dead in three days? What's the good news?
DOCTOR: I'm banging your wife.
PATIENT: You're having an affair with my wife?
DOCTOR: Banging. I wouldn't dignify it as "an affair."
PATIENT: Well then you're banging my wife! How is the hell is that remotely good news?!
DOCTOR: You've got bigger things to worry about. How I envy you your perspective.
PATIENT: ...
DOCTOR: Anal, too.
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30 January 2013

 

Gun Control Works, Really



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Liberals, socialists and communists will tax this person ...

Because he is willing to work.
Liberals, socialists and communists will steal his money through taxes and give it to slack shits that don't want to work and need booze money.
This is what Obama and Zuma is doing in the USA and SA.
For the slower of my lib readers, no, the photo was not taken in the USA or SA.
You are welcome
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Global warming sets its sun


This ad paid for by Al Gore
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19 January 2013

 

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20 November 2012

 

False stats and false tits



Comments:
I hold you responsible for the skewing of my cornea right now. Urrrrp.
 
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Mathematicians rule: No 3345



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19 November 2012

 

The top piccie is corect


 
Hi Eric I knew you would have picked up on 5:00 being wrong, so I fixed it for you. Eric Swg 9! is 362 880 and the sq rt of that = 602.39 So if you minus 1 you get 601.39 which is not 5: In the new clock that I Photospped 3! = 6 So 6 -1 =5. I hope this makes it clear.
 
Do not diss me on my English, you have been warned.
 
 


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11 November 2012

 

Sad



Stoled or not, the milk is on the floor.
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06 November 2012

 

A Momitt in history



Comments:
If only.
 
No such luck; the thieves and parasites have won for another four years.
 
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29 October 2012

 

‎200 thousand years ago:
We were all immigrants wherever we found ourselves.
I am speaking of what I know. A little knowledge goes a long way.
The white tribe.
We fucked up and killed countless others.
...
Pale Males ponied up though and started a magic revolution.
We now have cars, movies, cell phones, real heavier than air flying planes, electricity, the internet and many more of some special others like super heavy hitting low weight golf clubs. I would not like to think I have too many commas in that last sentence.
And now some fuck from Kenya can call me a special racial fuck because he does not understand how a fucking TV works or he does not understand 9th grade math.
That was then/now
We engineers or peeps that make things work of all the colours of the rainbow should strike and say: Pay me or I will cancel my contract.
I personally refuse to pay anything anymore to any socialist sucking government
Think before you bring another little peep into this world. Is that to much to ask. Why must I pay for your droppings?


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Ny heart is sore. A man that I have known for fifteen years have just lost his wife to cancer. If you pray, please pray for him and his young child. Please think of them in these darkerst of dark hours and days and send them your best wishes. Thank you.
I have crawled out that hole of despair. I takes a lot. Life, what life?
My child from those dark days are with me today and she now has my grandchild.
My new wife of 14 or so years (sorry Pumkin) are with me today and with her comes two new children and another grandchild .
I also have 2 new SIL's
Life, this life, it is the only one we have.
My friend, please stay strong, life beckons and grins

Comments:
I'm sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences to you, him, and wishing an eventual easing of his broken heart.
 
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20 October 2012

 

New words from a fresh mouth

Elizabeth

And this is not C Elizabeth M that I am married to.

This is a newly found bitch, Right Elizabeth?


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Romney winning over the poor persecuted Barack



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Very old firewood

A Scot/German hybrid with lo fuel consumtion gives us Very old firewood
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Beware


You will never "Just going for a shit" again
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That smell about libs

It comes from them being easily fooled
Pinkest Menace can pump up his shocks. If it is free Uts Savoury

47 % in the US 90 % in Scotland are freeloaders, and I do not even want to guess about the % in SA.
What can't go on will not go on. Even if you wish it with your deaarest heart


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19 August 2012

 

Is he a helper in this?

Do you really think a hick like Ryan could have come up with this. Surely some leftie lib have helped him.
Naaaaw

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24 June 2012

 

To my Kids



REMEMBER THIS




"Congratulations to all my friends who were born in the 1940s, 50s and 60s.
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank sherry while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, bread and dripping, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then, after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose, not from a bottle.
Takeaway food was limited to fish and chips, there were no pizza shops, McDonald's, KFC, Subway or Nando's.
Even though all the shops closed at 6pm and didn't open on a Sunday, somehow we didn't starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and no one died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy toffees, gobstoppers and bubble gum.
We ate white bread and real butter, drank cow's milk and soft drinks with sugar, but we weren't overweight because... we were always outside playing!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day, but we were OK. We would spend hours building go-karts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
We built treehouses and dens and played in riverbeds with Matchbox cars. We did not have PlayStations, Nintendo Wii and Xboxes, or video games, DVDs, or colour TV.
There were no mobiles, computers, internet or chatrooms. We had friends and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. And we ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, too.
Only girls had pierced ears. You could buy Easter eggs and hot cross buns only at Easter time.
We were given air guns and catapults for our tenth birthdays, we rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or just yelled for them.
Not everyone made the schoo! rugby, football, cricket or netball teams. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that. Getting into the team was based on merit.
Our teachers hit us with canes, gym shoes and threw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren't concentrating.
We can string sentences together, spell and have proper conversations now because of a solid three Rs education.
Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.

Mum didn't have to go to work to help Dad make ends meet because we didn't need to keep up with the Joneses!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like Kiora, Blade, Ridge and Vanilla. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
You might want to share this with others who grew up in an era before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives.

Comments:
Amen to that, Kees.
 
Keesie, just saw this. My birthday date!

Seriously, it's amazing how we survived.
 
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18 June 2012

 

Hats. I own dat


At least two and a Tiarra


You can also follow and friend me on facebook


Comments:
Tip your hat to that lady, mister.
 
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African Fathers

African Fathers do not have impressive unicorn horns. But somewhere in raising their kids they do excel.


You can also follow and friend me on facebook


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31 May 2012

 

Can you find yours?


If you can you are not qualified to be a politician.
Just saying.
Comments:
I have to disagree; if politicians can't find their asses, then why do they always have their heads shoved up them?
 
This time I'm gonna WATCH where you put it!
 
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A touch of the tar brush. In the old days the fences were low.


HT to Theo Spark
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30 May 2012

 

Opp done

 Bruising



 Puffuness

Prognosis is good



Comments:
Looks pretty sore. At least you still have the other hand for important things like drinking, smoking, and eating.
 
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27 May 2012

 

Marine corps Hymn bagpipes and band


Comments:
Thank you Keesie.
 
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26 May 2012

 

Ulnar opp




I first felt the loss of sensation about 6 months ago.
After a series of tests I landed with Dr. Martin Wells and he did the opp. My hand is swolen like a balloon but some feeling have already returned to the 2 fingers. 7 days to the soft cast and bandages coming off.
Comments:
Hope it feels better soon. Had both hands operated on last year. Made a huge difference.

Still, had to be concerned about who was gonna wipe ass. Finally managed to hold it long ehough to heal.
 
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16 May 2012

 

I am almost 59

I am turning 59 in 1 hour. You can be frog, croc or duck. And you can be all of those at the same time. Make your own life. You're welcome


Comments:
Best wishes for the happiest of days
 
"Forgo cuddlier cock" is an anagram of "duck,crocodile,frog" all at the same time, and may even have something to do with turning 59. What are you trying to tell us? ;-)
 
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06 May 2012

 

Mil mates side by side



General L. Chees
The Left hand side is 3 genuine pics of SWG, on the right I photoshoped the new general's  Cheesy's features
LoL. Do click to make it bigger.

Even on FB it is not safe



Comments:
Omg...so scary...and yet, I cannot turn away.
 
Most disturbing. And yet... inspiring as well.
 
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