27 June 2010

 

Perfide Albion, Pérfida Albión, Perfida Albione, Perfidious Albion

99999999

They happen to have a "fast track" link to this.
Lewis Hamilton is second/first generation Albion, and he is already the master at this perfidious stuff.
He screwed over Fernando Alonso big time.
Whatever Tim Blair might say he was not responsible for Mark Webber's flight, that was pure and simple Ausie stupidity.



But it was spectacular.
Glad he wasn't hurt, don't know why though.




Comments:
You are absolutely correct. I have an extremely sharp blade, and I will not hesitate to use it.
 
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How stupid is Americans?

Very.
If you look at this

Before you bitch at me remember that you get the government that you vote for.

So please cut HIS purse strings this November.

My dog in this fight is the US Dollar, if that tanks I tank period (if I use "period" do I have to put a "full stop"

America needs a THATCHER to fuck its unions.

The Jones Act?
WTF?





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26 June 2010

 

Oh the nasty things I'd do with this man.

Drunk, I am so God
So I dare

So the witch, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo Youuuu have dilllldosss?"

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."

The witch then asks: "Doooo youuuu carrryy AAA pppinkk onnees, Tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk... aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?"

The clerk responds, "Yes we do."

"Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offfff?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I di tank tat he is a lesbeen

+++++++++++++++++++++

That'l sort me out, plenty, quickly.


Comments:
OMG Kees! Did you find that survelance video of me on You Tube?
Damn!
 
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25 June 2010

 

Food Nazis


A Htmhlhsl tard I am:
But of course I was born and raised in Africa.

But now I have the Mighty and all seeing Michele Simon

to advise me.

Now I know that the kids in the picture below DOES NOT NEED more protein in their diet.
It is all a scheme by BIG UGLY Corporations.



Kwashiorkor is alive and well.
Thanks to Nestle who want to sell them FOOD


Michele finds a village in brazil about 70 years ago and she gets a thrill up her leg

She likes the small Kapital brazil, and says, about the Nestle barge "Cut off from branded goods? I don't think these people are lost or have been camping out too long, they're just living their lives."

"The peeps below should just live with what they have, they are very important to the socialist cause.
The moment they bite into a chocolate bar, they will not believe in ME anymore"

Keeskennis supplied the narrative and the ".. "





"Lucky ME, I could show the 'Future DEMOCRAT Voters (!!!!!!!!) in brazil that you could play a record with a pin"
"You do not need CD's, DVD's, PC's, Inernets from GB, invented by AG, iPods or Pads or Kindle's or no such SHIT, you just have to keep eating those beetles and all will be well, also air conditioning is reserved for HIGH CLASS BOSSES like MYself"
Keeskennis supplied the narrative and the ".. "



My Sincere regret is expressed to Mr Blessit, Good and Corny surname that.


"GOOD GOD, BLESS MY SOUL, OH MY SOCIALIST PREACHER.

LET US PRAY THEY NEVER GET BUTTER OR CHOCHOLATS OR ANYTHING, LESS THEY TURN INTO THIS BELOW"
Keeskennis supplied the narrative and the ".. "


I double dare this woman to come to Sierra Leone where I am at the moment and to come and talk her shit here after a tour of the country with me.

I just could not link "woman" above, all the harm she has (how the hell to you spell cuased) created, cannot come from a real woman, think "nurturing" and then think again.

Dear Michele, I hope you enjoy your meal tonight and please do not choke on anything nutritious, BITCH.

SUPERIORITY SUCKS

UPDATE:

I hope Katherine Mangu-Ward + Megan McArdle have got big guns and or lawyers, when the Nazis come for me, Heh.





Comments:
Kees: Nice. This is the kind of rant Acidman was good at, and i mean that as praise.

Next time I'm on the continent (and there will be a next time, if I have to steal to get ticket money) we will have to share a brew.
 
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22 June 2010

 

Makes think of WHAT

From


The Meaning of Liff

By Douglas Adams and John Lloyd


In Life*, there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognize, but for which no words exist.
On the other hand, the world is littererd with thousands of spare words which spend their time doing nothing but loafing about on signposts pointing at places.
Our job, as wee see it, is to get these words dow off the signposts and into the mouths of babes and sucklings and so on, where they can start earning their keep in everyday conversation and make a more positive contribution to society.

Douglas Adams
John Lloyd

*And, indeed, in Liff.

Read and laugh a bit and if a word reminds you of someone or something in our little bloggy world, leave it in the comments

I will do a number, see if you can improve or find new ones that fit better. Please be honest and make shit up.


This: A: AASLEAGH (n.)

A liqueur made only for drinking at the end of a revoltingly long bottle party when all the drinkable drink has been drunk.

Makes me think of: B: Chatham Artillery Punch

CAP 2


A: AHENNY (adj.)

The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves

B: Throw some light


A: AINSWORTH (n.)
The length of time it takes to get served in a camera shop. Hence, also, how long we will have to wait for the abolition of income tax or the Second Coming.

B: Cam shopping

A: ARDSCULL (n.)
Excuse made by rural Welsh hairdresser for deep wounds inflicted on your scalp in an attempt to rectify whatever it was that induced the ardscalpsie (q.v.).
B: This SEARCH, second POST

A: BABWORTH (n.)
Something which justifies having a really good cry.

B: If my blog does not meet your standards, then LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?

A: BAUGHURST (n.)
That kind of large fierce ugly woman who owns a small fierce ugly dog.

B: I am not stupid enough to reply. I have been threatened by death for not even saying sumptin like dat.

A: BERKHAMSTED (n.)
The massive three-course midmorning blow-out enjoyed by a dieter who has already done his or her slimming duty by having a teaspoonful of cottage cheese for breakfast.
B: Eli or Yabu or El Captiainment must respond


A: DARENTH (n.)
Measure = 0.0000176 mg. Defined as that amount of margarine capable of covering one hundred slices of bread to the depth of one molecule. This is the legal maximum allowed in sandwich bars in Greater London

B: Stupid Food Nazis

A:QUEDGELEY (n.)
A rabidly left-wing politician who can afford to be that way because he married a millionairess.

B: Here

ENJOY



Comments:
The Berkhamsted is sometimes followed by a Barfhamsted... particularly by the Bulimic Cohort. Ecccch.
 
Demachrystalize : To show who is boss ;-)
 
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20 June 2010

 

Assume the position please Ayla

I modern times, of course.

Photo depicting Misty, I thort she was blond, my mistake and apologies then Ma'm


Comments:
I AM blonde, thankyouverymuch!

*ROFLMAO*

And also, I might be bendy, but that's not me in the photo, akay? ;o)
 
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19 June 2010

 

Took me years to train him

Kees's pet crow

Comments:
Background story here ;-)
http://www.savory.de/blog_jan_10.htm#20100126

Stu
 
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Math question of the day


Comments:
Hilarious! Could have been me :-)

Of course, wearing anything saying SQRT(ans) means you are stupid enough to pay extra for a brand name and do their advertising for a negative fee :-(

BTW e=3-SQRT(5/(7*9)) is a good approximation, e sed ;-)
 
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Hi Eric is Elisson thinner than here?

And does he know the diff's between a sand wedge and your shovel?
And does Rex know the diff's between a "fish head" and "fishing a Head"






Training and teaching, that is my lot.

And now Yabu (EOTIS) makes me a Headman over Hundred by saying "You are fucking crazy..."

That my readers, is praise, of the HIGHEST order. But I agree the Croc was dry.

SUN ZTU
"Therefore, in your deliberations, when seeking to determine the military conditions, 
let them be made on the basis of a comparison, in this wise:--"


Empathy for your prey as above is vital
Nice kitty.


Comments:
Bwahahah...we need to go drinking some day...
 
.... I second Yabu's statement absolutely....

... and yeah, he's down maybe a few pounds from the photo in your collage..... he's looking good and healthy, Kees......

Eric
 
Bwah-hah-hahhhh!

That shot of me with the shovel is an absolute classic... I suspect that's what Eric might look like if he were to take up The Game...
 
... nah, Elisson.... my legs aren't as pretty as yours...... and if I did golf, I'd be wearing trousers....

Eric
 
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A Gentle Man vs a Gentleman

There is a common misconception that "Male" means "Man"

Being a male only means that you have the right genitalia.

Being a man means so much more than a dick and a pair of balls.

A man does what he has to do and that makes him more of a man.

Being a gentleman helps but is not a prerequisite for being a man.

Although it pisses the feminists off a man is the physically stronger sex, and he protects his woman and children.

If someone tells you that you smell like a male, you should go and bath, however if they say that you have a manly smell about you, you can smile proudly.

Some males act like men, or think that they act like men by being callous and rough.

Acting like that does not preclude you from being a man, but it does distract from the core.

Being a man is more of an instinctive act than a calculated act.

I have been called a gentleman, but not so many times that you would notice, however I have been called a gentle man often and that makes me proud.

"A man's word" is very precious and you should protect yours as the shelf life of a damaged one is very short.

Having good manners certainly helps.

A man is not swayed by favorable surveys or account’s, he does what he has to do, regardless.

Being a man is easy, but very difficult at the same time


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17 June 2010

 

From Tilly

Tilly is my cousin.

The first woman in this world that I had a crush on, after my mother.


A young Keesie type sees an advertisement for tenders to capture and relocate leopards from a farm to a reserve.

He submits his price.

He is by far the lowest and is asked to present his method statement;

I reads: I catch the leopard, I put it in the back of the van, I drive to the reserve and release it.

As he was substantially cheaper than the next tender he is appointed as the contractor, by the Farmer.

On his first day on the job there is a whole lot of greenies and dog turd huggers around to see him arrive with a Toyota 2.4 diesel Double Cab with Aussie Sheep Containment bars on the back, and a stack of grain bags.

He also had an assistant with a .22 rifle and a Fox Terrier dog.

The greenies and the huggers screamed and defecated.

A day later with 6 leopards writhing in bags the screaming stops and he delivers the leopards to the conservancy.

He answers questions as to how he does this so well.

“Well, we locate da leopard and chase it with da van into a tree, I then put on some welding gloves and climb the tree after da leopard and start to talk to it.

We scream and klap (with da gloves) and he climbs higher.

Until I have chased it into da small branches.

He finally jumps down and that is where da foxterrier crabs him by da balls.

As any man, that is grabbed by da balls, he freezes and after I get out of da tree, we bag him and start again.”

The Farmer then asks “What do you need the assistant and the .22 rifle for”

“If dat leopard knocks me out of da tree he has to shoot da fox terrier.


Just in case you believe me:

Here is a real leopard.


Comments:
You are fucking crazy...but the Crock should have been closer to his water. You've got to play to play...I think.
 
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The DOF is not STUPID

He wants more peeps to ride bicycles.
He is correct.

Mr. George Stupid Hussein Wiman writes well.
Keep Rocking my world, please George.

That Adams Apple worries me though.
Nothing else does though.

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I can see some benefits


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The Baracks are now RICH

I have never seen such a turn around.
From ANGRY to "They, BP, is a good Company, and we have to keep it that way.

From my Header:

"I have lived on this continent for 50 plus years. I know a bribe when I see one."



The cartoon was stolen from

Nate Beeler's 'Toons


Via
Via

Al Capone said.
"If you want to do the darkest deed, do it in the lightest light", or so I was told.

So I added some words.



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F*CK Nanny Governments

Susan Estrich: Rescued sailing girl needs responsibility lesson

She wrote.

"I'm not much of a risk-taker. Careening around a racetrack at three-digit speeds is just not my idea of a good time. I've never been tempted to climb Everest. To each his own. We live in a society in which people are free to be adventurers, even when the deck is stacked against them.


But kids should grow up first."

(Read her whole post, she has more to say.)



I commented.


Do not blame Abby Sunderland or her parents for the fact that you have a nanny government.
It is there, and willing to spend your (tax) money as it sees fit.
It was part of the Sunderland's decision making process.
Surely if you can use your (tax) money to raise 2 or more kids from a single mother times 50,000 (guestimate) cases, you can afford to pay for a gutsy young girls rescue.
And if the cases of government babies is wrong and it is more like 500,000, like I think, the Sunderland family comes cheap.
I am 57 this year and I have almost died at sea. A friend of mine has. Another was killed on a mountain. We took to our boats and mountains without guarantees.
I suspect Abby would have done so as well.


Further than her 200 word comment rule.


Killing yourself have, in my mind, have always been a choice you make alone.

Whether you do it by being eaten by a lion or freezing your balls in the Artic, the choice is yours.


Since we have "Sea Rescue Institute" and "Mountain Rescue Initiative" paid for by taxes, the number of stupid things that people do have increased vastly.


Smaller balls now try do what big balls did before.

I say let them die on the slopes and cliffs and waves and in caves.

We do not need their offspring.

We do not even need them.

If they survive, we should breed with them.


YOUR TAXES ARE KILLING PEOPLE, STOP PAYING NOW.








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13 June 2010

 

Blood pressure

Get it UP

"and if that means in Idaho Springs you get arrested, well I guess we'll just get arrested."

GO boytjie GO


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12 June 2010

 

Theft

Maybe I am getting old.
A Female that was allowed into our house, to help us clean, have just confessed that she stole a amount of money from my Wife's handbag.
She stole 17 days of earnings (for her).
She also stole 5 days of retirement from me and the Cat's Mother.
She did not suggest any repayment when accosted.
"The devil made her do it"
FUCK THAT
I will work the extra days.

There is a limited market for the remains of a skinny female.
Maybe I am getting old.





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Da woman


I am now in Sierra Leone.

FEMINISM

I am now faced with what the feminist in the USA do not want to discuss.

FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION.
Not A Cut, but a blunt shell, or knife, or stone, wielded by a Muslim SL Feminist, that produces, blood, screams, trauma and in the end the sublime woman.
For the man.

My Big Sis is a feminist.
So when she commented on my post.

Take two - sides, that is


"When I can next tear myself away from the book I'm reading on the Queer Child, I might just tell you the composition of the guests at a stork party I attended for a single lesbian mother who got the baby's genetic material from a single gay college friend, both lawyers..."

I did not comment.

I would not like to tear my own Sister away from her daughters wedding, but I would like to focus her attention on a Afternoon a few years back, In a Constantia Wine Restaurant, when she answered this question from me "How do you reconcile your feminism to the fact that the Muslim regards a woman as less than an animal". And she said " I have not made up my mind yet"
Well Sis, I can tell you that the muslims, men woman and children are leaving a bloody trail, heavy with fresh genital blood, and a titbit or two for those who care to look the other way.

Ask your muslim friends if they approve of FGM and ask them in a way that they have to say "Yes" or "No"
And then ask them, "do you approve of a religion that approves of this.
You will be met with a blank stare, I promise.

Ask them if they like Allah FUCKING a 7 year old girl, see if they yes or no or if they have any pre - qualification, maybe she was a well developed 7 year old, or MAYBE she was NINE, which absolves the WHOLE LOT.

In Sierra Leone the woman is an object, and that is carried forward by American Feminist that refuse to act against Muslims, anywhere.

Burn your bra's.
And fucking get a wake up.

In the media today:
AYAAN HIRSI ALI

Has got a pair.

Sarah Palin
Might be acquiring a pair

BHO is with the help of some Feminists deciding whether he needs a pair.








Comments:
Preach it, brother Keesie.
 
You got it right, Oom Kees. I see no good in a religion that condones child molesting and degradation of women in this day and age.
 
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09 June 2010

 

Vida - The wedding

The next time I marry off one of mine: I will take my own pictures: Damn:
This is what Iv'e got so far.

Vida, my dearest daughter, get your ass into gear, or I will go mad, promise.


Slow, maybe, but lovely.

Your Dad


Comments:
Well, not the clearest photo I've ever seen but you can still see she was a lovely bride. Congrats to all.
 
Beautiful Bride.

I will be marrying off my only daughter in less than one month.
 
Please be patient papa dear - we tearing our hair out as well, soon soon i promise love vida
 
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Presidential Wordds

A lot of peeps are taking the view that the Obama used harsh words when he used " I will kick Ass"
Keesie would have said
“I will kick your abundant, fat, lazy, lowly ass, whether it is male or female, until my foot bleeds, and thereafter I will kick your fat, sickly, cowardly, bleeding, democratic, socialistic, unconstitutional, stinking ass with my other foot"

But then:
I would be talking to Obama's staff, and that won't do.

As I emailed to Stu on his Sardonically yours

Park your bikes and your cars until We can drill on the land in the USA.
Can you spell hipocrite

I cannot

Lovingly yours

Nic S

I want oil and therefore I want drilling, off and on shore.

There will be spills, devastating ones, but the other side is that we all become Luddites.
The UPside of not using oil is that the muslim oilocrat sinks back into his slimy hole and we don't have to kill the fucker.

I would rather have oil.

Clearly there is nobody in Charge.
Not even a 2IC.
A right or left tenant?




Comments:
Have you looked at the Niger Delta lately?
 
I was there in 2002 and if you need a reason to drill the middle of your little town, the Niger Delta is it.
The oil from the Niger Delta will be available after your own well have dried up.
Muslims and Christians alike are fighting like Jews over the forbidden fruit and the terrs are profiteering in style.
 
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08 June 2010

 

What have I wrought?

I always knew I had the body to inspire poetry

Back left to right: Keesie, Keesie, Keesie, Keesie, Keesie, Keesie
Front Left to Right and Right to Left: Rat Bastard Commies

About which Keesie is the poems below?


FROM: cont 2
Nobody said it was easy,
writing a poem for Keesie.
My brain's just not wired
My mind's kind of tired,
And I don't want to post something sleezy.

MC

FROM: cont
There once was a knowledge baboon
Whose poetry rhymed none to soon,
And he wrote Vogon lines
Which deserved hefty fines
& a boot round the back o'the moon!

Ole Phat Stu


Down in darkest Africa,
South of the Zambezi,
There lives a hardy Boer man
The folks all call "Oom Keesie."

Now, Keesie is a soldier-man
Who fought the godless Commies
And speaks een kleintje Nederlands,
Unlike those awful Pommies.

He lives amidst the jungle dark,
Where snakes and tigers menace,
But not a single one of them's
A match for old KeesKennis.

If Jim should see a crocodile,
No need to start in screaming:
When Keesie gets his hands on it,
Its blood will soon be streaming.

But he's a friendly kind of bloke,
The kind I'd want to drink with.
Knows how to tell a filthy joke
About the holes we stink with.

Let's make a toast. I'll raise my glass
And drink to our KeesKennis -
Who kicks the mighty lion's ass
(Too bad he sucks at tennis.)

Elisson

FROM A poetry contest


Kennis the Menace
did let out a fart,
a stinker of poesy
he called pure art.

To his nose a blossom
it seemed soft and fair,
Considered it awesome,
his crop-dusted air.

As a beauty beheld
is a beauty apprised,
that we think it noxious
should be no surprise.

Compared to fair prof'rings
of things bright and true
Keesie's foul offering
has us turning blue.

Johanna van Arkel


And at SWG in the comments


There was a young man they called Blade
Who liked to sip gin in the shade
When he took out his shovel
His guests all feared trouble
And shot rockets off into the glade

Libby

Thank you all, it was fun




Comments:
Kees, at his leishz
In the breeze
Farts sparkling wheeze

And the big cats cower
And the reptiles sneeze

When Kees, at his leishz
Farts sparkling wheeze.
 
I know of man they call Kees
Roams the jungle whenever he please
There is nothing he fears
and I'm told that he leers
at the wimmen who hide in his trees
 
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04 June 2010

 

Younger poetry I like

Basketball's my favorite sport. 
I dribble up and down the court. 
The ball goes bouncing off my toes and beans the teacher on the nose.  
He stumbles back and grabs his nose and hits the wall and down he goes. 
The other players stop and stare. 
They've never heard the teacher swear.  
With no one playing anymore. 
I grab the ball. 
I shoot. 
I score. 
I love this game! It's so much fun. 
The teacher cried, but, hey--we won.

--Kenn Nesbitt


Young Kenn - Forgive your sqhuishy teacher and play da game - to win

You will one day pay my way, like I paid others.



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03 June 2010

 

Mostly Cajun - And Opinions count

The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal cockfights

being held in the area around Crowley,

and duly dispatched the infamous detective Boudreaux to investigate.

He reported to his sergeant the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin'" he began

."Good work. Who are they?" the sergeant asked

.Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How did you find that out in one night?"

"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat cock fight.

I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the fight."

The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"

Boudreaux intoned knowingly,

"Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when summbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant,

"And how did you deduce the Mafia was involved?"

"De duck won."


For luck

In French


La police d'état de la Louisiane a reçu des rapports des cockfights illégaux

étant tenus dans le secteur autour de Crowley,

et dûment expédiés le Boudreaux révélateur infâme pour étudier.

Il a fait rapport à son sergent le matin suivant.

« Dey est les groupes principaux d'arbre dans le fightin'" de robinet de dis qu'il a commencé

. « Bon travail. Qui sont-elles ? « le sergent demandé

. Boudreaux a répondu avec confiance, « De Aggies, de Cajuns, et de Mafia. »

Embarassé, le sergent a demandé, « comment vous avez trouvé cela dehors dans une nuit ? »

« Bien, » il a répondu, « je suis descendu et dat vu fait pour entasser le combat.

Je knowed l'Aggies étais impliqué quand un canard a été présenté dans le combat. «

Le sergent a incliné la tête, « j'achètera cela. Mais et les autres ? «

Boudreaux entonné sciemment,

« bien, je knowed de Cajuns étais impliqué quand pari summbody sur de duck. »

« L'ampèreheure, » sighed le sergent,

« et comment avez-vous déduit la Mafia étiez-vous impliqué ? »

« De duck gagné. »


Stolen from Phils Phun

With the French from Free Online Translator



Comments:
That's pretty much correct, yeah...

MC
 
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cont 2

He lives amidst the jungle dark,
Where snakes and tigers menace,
But not a single one of them's
A match for old KeesKennis.

So Eli wrote

Go and read the whole lot.
And see that.

A Afrikaan hick and a Yew tjie, from the USA can talk to each other.

It is a simple system of respect.
That particular Yew Boy of course stretches that system, big time.

"I suck at TENNIS"
What the F*ck is Tennis?

And I reply.

ALL WITHIN THE RULES OF THE CONTEST:
We go to a real artist to tell us about Eli

Biological Reflection - By Ogden nash
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't

And keesie:

In The darkest of Atlanta
Live's Eli, who is a Dada
Who loves his girl
Who has a frill
A tiger in Atlanta
Gotta scare the pants of any papa
But Eli will not say Tata
To his girls in Atlanta
As the Tiger will not say "oy"





Comments:
My head isn't wired for poetry, but never let incompetence stand in the way of effort:

Nobody said it was easy,
writing a poem for Keesie.
My brain's just not wired
My mind's kind of tired,
And I don't want to post something sleezy.

MC
 
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