21 April 2008
All my front teeth are caps allready
As I was trying to find (google) out whether the snakes were "pofadders" or "gaboon vipers" I came about this post from "Acidman" , jeebus he wrote and wrote about everything. I miss him.
" More cognitive dissonance
The company brought in a guy from Australia to fill a vacancy in upper supervision. His name is Sean, and he is of Indian descent.
He speaks with a Paul Hogan accent.
So, I now work with a guy who resembles the Son of Ghandi, has an Irish name and talks like Crocodile Dundee.
No wonder I stay fucked-up.
He blows every profiling circuit in my brain.
From what I've read and seen on TV about Australia, that country has every kind of kill-ya-dead critter on the face of the planet.
They've got snakes that give you two steps after a bite before you die. They've got Great White Sharks. They've got posionous sea-eels, poisonous spiders, posionous insects, posionous duck-billed attack-killers and evil shit EVERYWHERE!
I want to go there, but I am afraid of that place. But, I digress.
Sean saw his first Georgia rattlesnake the other day. (Yeah, those fuckers are out and about now) He saw this "strange reptile" crawl out of the swamp and go under a "runabout." (That would be a four-wheeler to an American.) He went over to make sure no one hopped on the runabout four wheeler, took off and injured the snake. He got a piece of pipe, dragged the snake out and "trapped it."
Any red-blooded Cracker would have used the pipe to stove in the snake's head at that point, but Sean is an Indian with an Irish name who comes from Oz. He didn't know what he had, but he didn't want it to get away. He kept it trapped until somebody native came by and told him, "That's a fucking rattlesnake!" and killed it.
Afterward, he suggested a safety meeting. "Mates, I don't know your snakes here. But the fact that one like that, which I am assured is posionous, can crawl into the plant is a point of concern to me. Was that a large one? Do they all look like that? Do we need to warn the operators of the dangers? Is it common to find a snake in the plant?"
Boy, did he get an earfull. That rattlesnake was a baby. The BIG BOYS come slithering in this time of year, especially at night. The plant is lit up like a World's Fair after dark. The bugs are attracted to the lights. The frogs are attracted to the bugs. The snakes are attracted to the frogs. People find the snakes and kill them.
It's Mother Nature at work.
YES, we kill a lot of snakes in the plant. We're in the middle of the fucking marsh and woods next to the Savannah River with LOTS of excellent snake habitat all around. NO, we've never had anyone bitten, but it's a wonder, considering the snake-rich environment and the number of them who crawl into pallets and boxes that are stored outdoors.
When I was running the Acid Plant, which was WAY back from the rest of the plant, I came to work one Monday morning and noticed a lot of people in the control room that usually weren't there. I said, "'Morning," went to my office, opened the door, turned on the light, picked up my status sheet from the desk and walked back to the control room.
"Goddam! Somebody told you about it!" I heard.
"Told me about what?" I asked.
"The goddam snake in your office!"
I went back to look and my heart almost stopped in my chest. Those fuckers had killed a six-foot rattlesnake the night before and coiled that sonofabitch up RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DESK, hoping to scare the shit out of me when I came to work. That snake was as thick as my calf with almost a dozen rattles. He was a full-grown nasty bastard. I don't know how I didn't step on it when I was gathering my paperwork.
If I had stepped on that snake, looked down and seen what was there, I just might have shit my pants. That's what everybody was hoping for.
I said, "Get that dead meat out of my office. And if you fuckers ever do anything like that again, I'll fire every goddam one of you."
I don't like snakes.
And Sean needs to spend some time on the internet learning about rattlesnakes, copperheads, cottonmouths and corals. We've got 'em all.
Posted by Acidman @ 06:01 AM TrackBack 
In the act of copying I removed all the comments, but left this one.
Go and read the others.
Fucking worms. Ugh. I'm not going to get into any "mine are worse than yours games", but let me just say:
Black mambas. Spitting cobras. Gaboon vipers. Tree snakes. Bird snakes (no antivenom works with these fuckers). Puff adders. Green mambas. There may be others but I've forgotten them, thank Og.
Scorpions, crocs, trees with deady noxious vapors given off at night.
Then, in the country, add lions, leopards, hyenas and the usual merry crowd of carnivorous mammals.
No wonder I left. Texas is like a rest home after that lot.
Posted by: Kim du Toit on June 23, 2003 05:38 PM "
As we all know my oldest sister has left Africa to be a Professor at an American University, her kids are Americans.
Kim is a hardcore American.
Let me tell you about AFRICA.
You have to be wide awake, all the time, no snoozing.
You are here as long as you want to.
You can have all the arms you need.
Be ahead of the masses, bribe, bribe and more.
When SA told me I can't register my 9 firearms because they do not fit certain criteria, I arranged a burglary and now my families gunny heirlooms reside in a bank vault in another African country, where I can control them.
In Zambia, Tanzania, The Gambia and Botswana I don't carry a side arm, it is not against the law in 3 of these counties, but it is not necessary.
In the DRC I carry, illegally, a Walther PPK in 7,65mm (.32ACP), and I found by googling tonight that it is the most popular Walther PPK.
I used to carry as a sidearm a "Starr .22", other details are missing from my brain.
This particular firearm turned out to be very efficient when applied correctly.
All the SA's, Ivory Coast's, Uganda's, Mocambique's, Angola's etc have gone by and I have found a safe place to live for me and to raise my family.
Who knows or Wu noes, who knows.
The Chinese are knew, or new, but like the others before them I am sure to earn big bucks, live like a KING, and to be secure, until we throw them back.
Africa has a longer memory than China.
Fuck if we could corrupt the English we could corrupt anybody, you just have to have the will.
I am not taking him on, but just as I tell my Sister that she should reconcider, I am just wondering if Kim has second thoughts, sometimes, maybe.
I will most probably buy a property in the USA in the near future, I am not stupid, but the thrill off living in Africa will never die and would not like to live anywhere else.
A wild man in a wild place, that's me.
AFRICAN'S do not make good rulers, not even half or quarter ones, do not elect.
Women is suspect as well. (except Maggie)
Actualy all socialist and or communistic candidates should be ignored.
I know, I know, I know, I dont vote, so FUCK OFF.
Don't listen, stew in youre own juice.
And please join me in safari to the Serengeti and Ngorongora Crater, discuss amongst yourselves.
Just to brag I can tell you that I have shot ...............
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