31 October 2008

 

Black Hole Optometrist’s

By the time that scientists from the Hubble Space Centre realised that the Hubble Space Telescope was working again after a month of striking for more and better conditions (more oxygen comes to mind, nevermaaind sex every now and again), the eyeball fixture of the Hubble was pointing in the wrong direction.

We would never, nevah know this from the Hubble Space Centre, They are too very muchos Barackily Correct.

Oh Boy Oh boy, they gotten it all so wrooong.

They, with the scope all pointing the wrong way picked up a MAJOR Black hole in Zimbabwe, either Mugabe's or his opponents. Although The HSC would not clarify, your humble blogger can ascertain, that it was positively Mugabe's as it was hundreds of miles across.

As they struggled to right teh HST they inadvertently moved south (+_ 38093.4v and 35678h) and picked up Mongasuthu's ear, panic ensued and they then got the nether regions of Zuma, the craters in his logic stopped progress for another few hours.

Sela: 

You know, I don't know why I give Instapundit any credit or links at all, he never links back, it is, well, like a black hole.

And now, all of a sudden I have this feeling that "they" are getting tighter with their scrutiny.

Well they, the HST centre twisted a few redistribution dials  and finally focused on teh Black Hole Optrometrist's galaxy (located North of Mexico)  and saw the biggest black hole, bigger even than they could imagine. Besides the normal restrictive rules this BHO would not even let the minutest bit of tax escape. This BHO was so restrictive  that the black holes of Mugabe&Monghasutu&Zuma&Mbeki combined paled (pardon the pun) into insignificance. 

 

After all this they did manage to Photoshop this onto us.

 

Isn't science just marvelous?







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30 October 2008

 

AAALLL

That heavy bullying was not needed, I would have linked her in any case

She makes a lot of sense.
But why the DARK Background?
Witch?
Erica?
Dax?

Grow younger or older as you wish or swish, that shit is hard to read.





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Anuder dude

I do worry about personal libberty, yes I do, really.

But please shit dude or dudess look at the words below.

I’m Will Mellor and I’m in Barbados,” says Will Mellor, standing, for the purposes of authenticity, in Barbados. In the first of this “groundbreaking new series”, the star of Two Pints of Lager and a jacket of Crisps spends four nights at the island’s Dodds Prison: a monumentally depressing institution in which deprivation replaces rehabilitation, frustrated intellects fizz like fermenting apples, and the most popular pastime involves stuffing one’s foreskin with melted balls of plastic.

Source: Guardian UK

is as it may be yous that have intelects and youse that have idees of rhabilitations, please LISTEN.


DON'T DO THE FUCKIN CRIME

and also the writer can get a degree by reading Vman, although our man and hero can learn from stuffing one’s foreskin with melted balls of plastic.

(how this links etc works is pure html evil}




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Well Dude

I'm waiting !

You still coming here or shall I come there to attend to your sorry hide?

The half rubber of a world waits.

Comments:
Maybe it's nothing for him to wipe a man's ass either. He could show you how.
Maybe more on that later.
Sure sounds like you pissed him off, or he pissed himself off and you happened to be around. I hope you got a place for the remains. 
heh


.... time, man.... give me time.... I do have a pith helmet now, though..... I'll be sure to bring it.....




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According to Glenn

Poor little Amy is in danger of having her second vote taken away.
Have these people no SHAME?
Or should that be.
I was told that once George Bush became president, people would have their voting curtailed, and they were right.


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28 October 2008

 

WOW

I am so jealous. I see that Vman got the Hewitt Award from Andrew Sullivan

And furthermore he also scooped the: The Troglodytic Intelligentsia award


 This is so unfair. Why must only the people who can write well get the awards?
Hopefully when THE ONE wins he will bring back the Fairness doctrines and take Vmans awards and give them to me. Hope and change.

Wolcott at Vanity fair did call him a mysterious entity named Kim Edwards, Is this allowed?
If I was Vman I would write to Wolcott and complain  



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Proof that the Irish discovered Africa



Thanks to Stu for the tip.


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26 October 2008

 

It takes Time


As me and my Baby spoke this afternoon I reflected to myself on how grown up she sounds.
Just to dispel any thoughts that she is grown up I post this photo of herself and her mother, my late wife.

Comments:
Aw, ya ol' softy! What a sweet pic.



Yeah Joan, he is an old softy I think..except when he's out poaching elephants


And it takes time to poach an elephant, too. First you have to boil a whole lotta water...




ROFLMAO @ Guy.




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Maxx on Maxx

Over at the Anti Strib Maxx-Dog posted a post.

He has a commie liberal commenting
".................
Yes, we have a progressive system. I think that's a good thing. But, either way, it's simply not as outrageous as you want it to be."

Maxx answers

"I think a flat tax would be the most fair. Everyone pay 15% fed tax. Maybe if more people had a stake in this country they would look at the issues seriously instead of voting for the douchebag who promises to give them shit for free.

Back to Keeskennis:
I have paid more in USD or percentages to others as off my own free will than any of the two gentleman above.
(I'm just talking my ass here but from my personal knowledge normal Americans earn small amounts of money)
I have managed to dodge taxes for twenty years.
I have however paid for 6 local peeps to start their own enterprises, paid for 4 individuals (not my kids) to attain college qualifications, and more.
A moral man does not need a  progressive system of taxes.

FUCK COMMUNISM and BHO
Comments:

We have more than one douchebag there who spews drivel and insults the intelligence of everyday working people but who would we beat on and ridicule if we didn't have socialist dweebs?
Thanks for the headliner Kees and thanks for the voice from someone who has seen the disaster of socialism. We need all the help we can get to defeat The One.


GravatarYou are welcome.
The hardest cries come from those who claim that "they did not see it coming" despite all the warnings.




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She still has it

Froth might have a potty mouth, but she has a way with words





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25 October 2008

 

A man's word

I've taken stick; 
I've come out on top, mostly. 
A Time ago Vman said, enjoy BHO whilst he is fucking you, or go and find Noah's Ark on a hill and raise some bison next to it. 
I say FUCK BHO. I have existed and lived under and with the following: 
IN SA: 
Verwoerd: I was too young to vote, I belonged to the CORRECT RACE AND CHURCH though.
Botha: "I believe" (Ek glo), that meant that you believed or else you were fucked. 
de klerk: a bimbo in limbo, who could not fight his way out of a wet paper napkin, but had a big dick. 
mandela: a Communist and a story to tell, and a small dick. 
Mbeki: A gentleman and a scholar but a black soul and a small c communist and a big dick.

IN OTHER COUNTRIES: 
Jonas Savimbii: In the beginning he was a great people's person but as he felt more and more persecuted he lost it all to his small dick. (He had plenty wives and plentitudes of children). He also killed a lot of children in orphanages. I waged a war with this man as my sidekick. He was not a COMMUNIST.
Me and him touched twice, one weak handshake
and a wipe by HIM over my shoulder and ear
Hastings Kamuzu Banda - Malawi
Under his rule, Chichewa became the national language in Malawi.
I paid a special tax as I could only speak Afrikaans and English.
I could either pay it or leave, I chose to stay.
He, HKB, had a passion for white prostitutes, not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.
He also declared that the USD was equal to the ZAR. This was while Botha above was backing him with money and troops. Thank fuck I was old enough to understand and miss this.
The economy is now in tatters.
Except for a holiday visit I had the luck to miss this arch Communist.
I now live withen 100 meters from one of his folly's, the half, make that 10%, FREEDOM?INDEPENDANCE STADIUM. You can view this 10% stadiums in all the cities and towns of this great country
This man fucked up a, thank you very much, functioning and tax paying industry (Industries)?.
He also ran the mining industry, after nationlising, into the fucking ground, you would expect someone that grew up herding goats, to have some respect for the ground. WTF am I thinking?
The economy is now in tatters.
I have more samples if you want.
I also tried to leave comment at J o A
 but she did not want it, or maybe it was blogger.
Anyway Joan, here we have your cadre of Robber Baron's, get used to it and use the system and milk it.
I have not paid taxes (except VAT) for the past 20 years or more.

RANDOM PHOTOS and Others






For Stu and DoF





AND WISDOM FROM CLEVER RESPECTED PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT RACIST, MERELY REALISTS.
SO SUCK MY DIRTY, SWEATY, UNWIPED ASS.



+_"{+_+_{}":?"{+_){}+_"{+_+_{}":?"{+_){}+_"{+_+_{}":?"{+_){}

My Rhymes Of The Day
*****
November Four
You have to dig for Ore
You don't need a Whore
You've been here Before
And you can close the Door
On this filthy Chore
Of an Obama  Bore
You can Score
November Four
*****
This election Day
You can say, Hey
You fuckin racist, sexist Gay
I will not let you have your Way
My first ammendment rights are here to Stay
And all I can Say
Get the fuck out of my Way
This election day
*****
What shall I do with my morning glory Pee?
Mcain makes me Droop
Sarah makes me Whoop
Obama thinks he's got me in a Loop
Biden makes me Poop
I'll vote for the GOP
*****
I am the One
The Brightest One
The Wisest One
A ten percent Lead
Have got Mcain Beat
Why do I feel the Heat?
I thought heaven had Come
Am I not the One?
Surely, I am Gone
*****
Michelle is my Mate
Why does she Hate?
We have done so Swell
Why is this going to Hell
Maybe her Airs
Is the same as Bill Ayers
And "kill your Parents"
Is not the same as running Errands
so all we have on our Plate
Is Hate.
*****
Comments:

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~Aristotle

Which is why I read your blog 


GravatarWell said young man.




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24 October 2008

 

Stu is trying to be funny

Please be gentle dear readers, he is a Scot, shame.
Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are Scots as well.
He is brighter than the pair of them, just slightly "leftified", shame.
I spoke to his doctor and he said that Stu should recover and that the steaks of him succumbing to this lefty disease is low.


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PS for Blob



What we got from the Blob




My FIRST prize entry.


My common or garden entry.

I will Get BHO involved and he will get the Fairness Doctrines and I will win.

Go and read Vman at his best.




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A Hagiography in pictures

Vman has asked me to illustrate his forthcoming book and so far I have selected these


Actually my previous post made me think of these, but why waste a opportunity.


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Male vs Man

There is a common misconception that "Male" means "Man"
Being a male only means that you have the right genitalia.
Being a man means so much more than a dick and a pair of balls.
A man does what he has to do and that makes him more of a man.
Being a gentleman helps but is not a prerequisite for being a man.
Although it pisses the feminists off a man is the physically stronger sex, and he protects his woman and children.
If someone tells you that you smell like a male, you should go and bath, however if they say that you have a manly smell about you, you can smile proudly.
Some males act like men, or think that they act like men by being callous and rough.
Acting like that does not preclude you from being a man, but it does distract from the core.
Being a man is more of an instictive act than an calculated act.
I have been called a gentleman, but not so many times that you would notice, however I have been called a gentle man often and that makes me proud.
"A man's word" is very precious and you should protect yours as the shelf life of a damaged one is very short.
Having good manners certainly helps.
******************
Well that is my thought of the day, what do you think?

Comments:
Have to agree with you there; I've seen a lot of grown up males who were piss-poor examples of men. Abusive fathers and husbands come to mind.




I am Great Reader, KIM Jong IL...
a man's man. If you disagree with me...
I'm Kill you looong time!

KJI
Pyongyang, California




Right on the money!

I've been reading and writing about a lot of scumbags lately and without a doubt none of them are real men although they would like to think so.



To interject a woman's viewpoint... 

A male can engender a child.

A man can raise one.

There is indeed a BIG difference between "male" and "MAN".





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23 October 2008

 

Banky Wisdom

I sold USD 100,000 today at ZAR 11.41 per dollar.
Over my last transaction at SAR 6.10 per Dollar I made a vast profit.
All those "experts that advised me to get rid of dollars" I just want to say, STFU you ignoramuses.
That will be enough to buy a very nice house for me and the Cats Mother in SA, at half price, hoo fuckin hoo.
The rest of our savings stays in USD.




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22 October 2008

 

No "You know who" I do not.

Half a lifetime ago I posted this.

Growing up cool & the law
I repeat it below.

And now I get a comment accusing me "I think you are telling long, sappy tales"

He posts from Canada, but he was searching for "langplaas". Furthermore he talks of a police station being 10 km away, why then you are living in town, and "electric fences", WTF.
"You know who", I do not think that you have been to Namibia at all.
Bullshitter.

*******************************************************************************
Three tough pictures to weave together in one story.




OK, so here is KeesKennis just finding his feet.





I left the family protective unit and developed a thick skin.





"Die LangPlaas" translates into "The LongFarm",
This actually means a road in a urban area.

KeesKennis was earning in spending power in Africa today about USD 190 per month and made three decisions:
: I will not starve.
: The Cops will not catch me.
: I will not ask my family for help.

So I regularly went hunting on the LangPlaas.

I bagged many smaller meat-bearing animals.

So one day I bagged a eland as shown above while riding a Matchless 500 Single motorbike at 2:30 in the morning, about twenty yards from the road, standing still in my headlight.
This is an animal that is bigger than a big cow (beef)

The rush to get a SUV and friends to help pick up the animal and conceal the traces of the illegal hunt was epic.

One friend went to buy a sheep from a "friendly" farmer.
Another came with his dad's pickup with a winch.
We skinned and cut up the eland at my place and distributed the meat to any freezer but mine.
We then skinned and cut up the sheep on the same spot and placed the portions in my freezer.

The Cops, having heard the shot, and knowing that I hunted on the Langplaas, came around and after investigating, had a beer with me.

I am truly glad that CSI new York was not around.

Pics from Vearl.







Two GENTLEMEN, Guyk and Ellison, amongst the many gentlemen and ladies in my readership left a comment at Pumkin 1, I thank you.
And also many thanks to Ellison for bending down and scratching me behind the ears by linking me.

Comments:

I think you are telling long, sappy tales. My stepfather was the owner of Langplaas and if you even tried to get over the first of the 6 foot fences you would have been electrocuted. Also, since the nearest police station is more than 10km away and the Eland grazed on the northern part of the farm, that would have had to be a really, really thunderous shot.

Better luck next time.




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17 October 2008

 

??


Comments:

Every time I see Sarah Palin on TV 
I think she's fucking bananas!

Your piccy confirms this 


GravatarHmmm, a San Francisco/Key West training aid...




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Cool




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16 October 2008

 

I wonder .....

If Guyk knows these peeps?

Comments:

yep..thats my Portable Rican neighbor




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15 October 2008

 

Stupid?

I've done something like that at least twenty times in my life.

Stolen from

The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century - Joey deVilla's Weblog
.... remind me to tell you a story about LCpl Wells (with his broken leg) assisting us with a cabin party on Adak.... and how our Top screamed up at us from down below...... 
.... how we got that fucking couch up there, I will never know..... but hey, it happened........ 
.... dude with a broken leg dancing on top of a cabin overlooking the Bering Sea...... I swear, you can't make that shit up......




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Who




Is responsible for this?
Misty or Scary Duck

Comments:
You know what pisses me off?
The designers of this "quality product" failed to meet the basic requirement that the damn things should float upright!

What a vista!

I just hope they netted them all in downriver and didn't leave them to wander our polluted seas for decades (as has already happened once) :-(



Looks like someone ducked up. Duckin' idiots!




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Dreaming

Punch a hippy in the cactus



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13 October 2008

 

Rex is back from France

Rex from Deer Camp Blog 
Is back from holidaying in Fwance.
Go and say hi.

Straight is going abroad to Sweden.
Gay is coming back, a broad, from Sweden.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Comments:
Thank God someone got a good pic of me. Those Frenchies are some strange people and dress funny too.




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11 October 2008

 

Dignified Boobies and Beer

When I started this Monday Boobies and Beer, I decided, no pron, so far so good.




No Disrespect

So far almost so good.

Quite legal I would say


A boobytrap maybe


Unladled

As you can see I need help: Hey RalphDude lend a brother a hand




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10 October 2008

 

Whoo, whoo

Whooo are you voting for?
No really.

Comments:
I'm voting for America's hottest governor, of course!




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