25 August 2010

 

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an arsehole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'arsehole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an arsehole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'arsehole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ARSEHOLE!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole ( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW arsehole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house,and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
>"Don, you're an arsehole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Arsehole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an arsehole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
>"Who are you?" he asked.
>"My name is Don Hansen."
>"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Arsehole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, arsehole," and hung up.
Then I called Arsehole #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, arsehole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, arsehole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
>I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of eachother in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.


From all over the internet.

This particular version stolen from Amazing Australia


Comments:
I was a field instructor for a state fire school for 14 years. Taught a class in stress management. The byword word was...what is stress management?
STRESS MANAGEMENT: The minds ability to over come the body's desire to beat the shit out of some son-of-bitch who desperately deserves it.
Enough said.
 
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24 August 2010

 

All Seeing

From




From

Comments:
Cool...the South African Juju variety.
 
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A warning to Eric

My Sister sent me this pic

"Hi Nic, thanks for the visit, here is a pic of you sunning yourself on the stoep"


Cool, but then I saw the background @ 10 O'Clock



What was not visible to the naked eye, was in the pixels

A Giant Alien Zombie Hand was ripping at the plants.


They can fly as well, did you know?

And it was broad daylight. What in evil's name can they do at Night, when it is Dark?




Comments:
.... good god, man..... maybe your mamabas will bite it....

Eric
 
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15 August 2010

 

Being of unsound mind and intellect I sometimes surf

And then I get to places like this.




I thought about giving a warning but then realised that I am on KEESKENNIS, so wtf.

MONDAY, MAY 3, 2010
A wish
Here is what I wish for for Stephanie Grace and the rest of the scum who suggest that whole races of people are smarter than other races of people.

I wish for a ship to come and take you across an ocean to a place where you will be forced to do menial tasks until you die. I further wish that your children and their children will suffer the same fate. Then, their children and the children of those children for a few generations can live as third-class citizens with few rights and no opportunity for education or self-improvement.

Then, when we finally reach the next couple generations, I hope that my distant-future spawn goes up to yours and calls them fucking idiots.
POSTED BY SEVEN MACHOS AT 11:23 PM 2 COMMENTS
LABELS: HARVARD, IQ, RACE

I left this comment

KeesKennis said...
Dear Sir Foreskin
If a group of humans, 100 thousand years ago, moved from Africa to over the years, a less nice place, like Europe or other icy places, and then slowly over the years develop a part of their brains that says, (Hee Hii Hoo, we have to "think ahead and save food for the winter")
"Think of the short term future". What an amazing concept, as here in Africa everything is provided, Nuts, Fowl, Casava, Banana's, Mango's, Fish, and if you care to walk AND run, Deer, Rabbit, Pigs etc.
Come and live here for three years and sprout your bullshit then.

Now, if you are not a Idiot, you will realise that all humans are not at the same phase of brain development.
That does not make them more or less stupid than the rest, just different.

One or the other might not adapt to the other as easily.

Comprohendo Mr. Foreskin

August 15, 2010 6:32 AM

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08 August 2010

 

What Suncreen factor should this woman use?

The scabbing on her skin is bad
Nice boat as well.


Comments:
That is a nice boat.
 
It looks like the guy is pulling some dental floss out of her girl parts from a sizable distance.
 
I thought it. Erica wrote it.
 
.... call me soon, please..... I have news for you!...... or email me your number and I will call.....

Eric
 
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03 August 2010

 

A day on the bay


Comments:
Can we say "OUCH!" Seriously though, I didn't watch any other clips maybe related to this one, but it appeared they didn't even try to go back and help....?
 
Awww! Poor whale!!! :(
 
"So, how was your day, dear?"

"Oh, fine...except for the gigantic fucking whale that sunk my yacht and drowned all my friends. How 'bout you?"
 
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01 August 2010

 

A Sane Frothing at/of/off the Mouse/Mouth - Le

THE FUTURE
Mr. Froth and I had a very interesting discussion the other night during which we came to conclusions and realized that world leaders should pay attention to us.

Be that as it were...

I'm thinking the legacy for the One is fracture to some extent. Somewhat due to his history and current manifestations of scariness, along with his coterie of nattering nabobs of negativity. Somewhat due to external societal constructs and internalization of those ideas and events that we can't avoid. Agent Smart vs. Kaos. Agent Smart being people who actually think. Kaos being, well, knee-jerk sorts.

The faux riling up of racism is key in perpetuating the community organizer, Alinsky, agitation model of pissing the most people, of all races, economic strata and intellectual ability, off. Most people are, indeed, of goodwill, and don't operate with AGENDAS throughout the days of their lives. Most normal people, of goodwill, learn and adjust, adapt and compromise, and don't function with hatred as their fuel. Agitation aggravates the fringes which the agitators just lurve.

Folks with grudges from boy or girlfriend dumpings past, imagined or real discriminatory situations past, and educationally skewed pasts either get over it and grow up and try to positively prevent those things from happening again, or, they fertilize the seed of their anger and use it to foster their individual vendettas until they die. Taking along unsuspecting,stupid and vulnerable people with them. For their own personal megalomaniacal gain.

No. Surely not. You mean some people like power? No. Get out.

Perfect storm with a supposedly "post racial" presidency, coupled with a world situation in which several groups actually want us dead. Not because we're not producing reparations for slights dating back to Leif Ericson's day (By the way, I want reparations for pillage, rape and plundering since I'm a descendant of, probably, some Scandinavian peasant who Odin threw into a funeral pyre somewhere. Plus, I'm a woman. Don't get me started. You won't win.) or Native American atrocities (By the way, Mr. Froth is part Cherokee, as are our Frothlets. Don't get me started. You won't win.) or the day that the African warlord sold his tribemates into slavery for whatever it was he got, other than kudos in 21st century America, or trying to keep illegal immigrants from entering our borders----No. It's because they believe we're infidels. Hamas, Hezbollah and Al Quaeda don't give a rat's ass about our lack of empathy and humanity. It's because we're infidels.

So, all that above (how's that for a transition) coupled with the immediacy of the media we have today we have a positive shitstorm of ridiculousness to carry us forward for the next few years. And, it's really dangerous. No, you can't negotiate and schmooze with Shariah law. Surprise. With the internet, youtube, tv, radio, blogs, tweets and books of all kinds the opportunity to foment is so lush and available it's amazing that someone's head hasn't exploded already.

The losers like Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Rahm Emanuel, Oliver Stone, George Soros have played the useful idiots well. But, they've underestimated their landscape. Too many people are too smart and too informed to ignore their shenanigans. But, the other side is being played as well, and those of us who tend to the right, center right need to pay attention. Stupid abounds on both sides and it bodes ill for our future.
Comments:
Beautiful blog!
 
You called me sane?!?! Monsieur, mon dieu!!!

Thanks, Fabio!
 
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