25 September 2009


A Mental block

Maeve keeps on sending me pictures of young girls. Or maybe she just's posts them, I am very comfused.
What must I do?
P Shop them or what?
Plse advise.


Just point out to the succubi that Heaven is actually hotter than Hell.

Proof: Hell has lakes of molten sulphur, so that tells us that it is cooler than the boiling point of sulphur.

Heaven is bright 'as seven times the light of seven days' (quoting the bible, there). Black-Body radiation thus tells us the temperature is the fourth root of (7*7) times a daily temp (e.g. 30+273=303 Kelvin), i.e. over 800 K which is quite a bit hotter

I ask you Dr Stu

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Please use Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

My own answer is thus:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by a dour PHD student during my freshman year, that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with him last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, That the dour PHD student kept shouting "Oh my God."

GravatarAll I can say that if we were to have a quadratic tussle with Stu, Witch, Lisa and Dru is that Stu better take his heart tablets beforehand.

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