KeesKennis

Guns.
Booze.
Under thirty's.
The above three is a scary group.
I the Afrikaans community in SA it was common that if your nickname was "Horse", your younger brother would be called "Foal", regardless of the characteristics that gave you your name.
So it was with "Perd" and "Vulletjie", the elder "Horse" about 27 years old and the younger "Foal" 19 years old.
Kees was a very mature 23 years old "Kees".
I must add here that despite my wild, wild nature, older people loved and respected me, and Perd and Vulletjies Father and Mother was no exception.
Perd and myself was the best of friends, hunting, whoring and womanizing together.
We dragged Vulletjie along to a couple of these happenings and he tended to grow up far beyond his years.
So, as it always happens, Perd had to depart to other shores. I promised and he made me promise, that I would look after Vulletjie.
A group of 19 year olds, Vulletjie amongst them, planned a Big Booze up and Braai (Barbeque) on the banks of local river, to celebrate their last days at school.
None of the parents was going to let this happen if they were not there, and none of the youngsters were going to be there if their parents were there.
Stalemate.
Enter Kees
Someone suggested that I host that party. Everybody including myself agreed.
Many mothers and Fathers came by and told me tidbits about their sons and daughters, and how to control them. I listened and learned.
The party was a huge success, we had drunkenness, nudity, fisticuffs, sex and the whole lot.
I was the great controller.
Before the parents came back the next afternoon, all the bottles/condoms/pot pipes, panties and other evidence, have been removed.
OH, I must add that, as the controller, I confiscated all car/bakkie/van keys and all firearms, body searches were involved.
So the class of 19 - - was cleared and ready to go elsewhere.
I suppose we could all sing now, as they say in the bible when there is a musical break.
"Sela"
But, about ten of the "older than their years suggest" youngsters had another party orginised for the next night at the same grounds.
Again I was asked to supervise and I had a co-supervisor, a very sexy 26 year old girl/woman thrusted apon me, I accepeted gladly/lustily.
As I was used to looking after people less responsible than me, I took my duties very seriously, I unpacked and searched every bag and car for drugs, firearms or alcohol.
I did not consficate all but used my judgement and that was why I was asked time and again to perform these duties/pleasures.
This after/after party, with this sexy cohost, Margie was her name, made me drop my guard a tad.
I was mostly thinking of THIS THING when Vulletjie smuggeled a .22 Star pistol into the inside arena, past me.

I would normaly make vast amounts of money by selling alcohol to those who attended these parties, and this night was no exception.

The party was wild, the co-hostess was performing to expectations and more.

Finaly the lights were dimming and Kees was looking forward to some sleep and sex and the whole scene was dying down and we were preparing to sing "Ould sang lye" when it all fell apart.

A very drunk Vulletjie produced this . 22 Star and pointed it wavingly at his temple.

"The whole world sucks"

"You all suck"

"I want my brother Perd"

"I am going to shoot my brains out"


Lots of stunned silence and a lot of slurring ensued.

We were all sitting in a circle around a fire, Ms hot-co-host, Margie, between me and Vulletjie.

Kees, being fairly sober, until a hour or so ago, leans back and grabs the first piece of wood that he finds, a 3 feet by 2 inch dia piece, and whacks Vulletjie from behind, with a mighty blow to the skull.

"Thank God I didn't kill him."

He slumps to the ground, bleeding from a two inch gash to his head.

While I rush the now bubbling/bleeding patient to the hospital Margie guides the rest to their tents.

Luckilly I know the doctor, Henk, at the local hospital and he quickly stitches up the gash in Vulletjies head and puts him to sleep for another 4 hours.

A blissfull late morning ensues, the co-host proclaims it a woody success.

No complications and I retain my crown.

Fast Forward one year.

Both Perd and Vulletjie and their parents and other parents and participants have come to me and said I have handled the situation well.

Then, Henk, the doctor at the hospital, and I, meet at a fuction and we talk about this and that and then he tells me about that incident:

"Next time, if you can't find a smaller piece if wood, and it is a .22, let him shoot himself, it will cause less damage"

Henk then introduces me to his newly aquired wife.
Henk: "Margie, please meet Kees, he is the one that used that big piece of wood"
Margie: "Yes I know, he'll have to find a good doctor to stitch up the wounds every time, hallo Kees"

"Sela"

A big piece of wood

"Sela"

Comments:

Bane said...
Very nice writing, Keesie.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 2:43:00 AM

BobG said...
"Next time, if you can't find a smaller piece if wood, and it is a .22, let him shoot himself, it will cause less damage"I was thinking the same thing...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 4:45:00 AM

Ralphd00d said...
Good Story!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 7:46:00 PM

Elisson said...
This may be the best post you've ever written, Keesie. It's a great story that tells us a lot about you. Plus it has violence. And a big stick of wood.

Heerlijk!
Thursday, March 20, 2008 4:53:00 AM

Eric said...
... actually, it is good that you hit him in the head.... that .22 would have been the end of him....
Thursday, March 20, 2008 3:40:00 PM