07 October 2006
My day job
Keesie is called a Quantity Surveyor.
My job entails a lot of calculations and the knowledge of certain computer programs is essential.
Mathematics, although essential is not the be all and end all.
The job involves contracts, a lot of words.
My job is in itself not bureaucratic but I deal with bureaucrats all the time.
Let’s explain that.
Many moons ago an entity like USAID, DANIDA or EU wanted to build a dam in the Republic of Gomorrah.(hereafter called RoG)
They put together a document for various companies to peruse and the put in a bid to build this dam. This document was drawn up by the wife of the secretary of the treasury of this company, because she could write great plays.
The lowest bid was put in by KeesKennis Construction, (hereafter called the Contractor)
In this document it was stated that the contractor would need to import some 5000 tons of aggregate as the RoG does not have any stone suitable for concrete.
The Contractor determined that there was a source in a neighbouring country for this said 5000 tons and priced his bid accordingly.
While the Contractor was constructing the said dam he realised that the lady playwright mistook tons for cubic meters (1 ton = 1 cubic meter for water) but for stone the specific gravity is between 2 and 2.9 tons per cubic meter, so she should have said 14500 tons of aggregate.
So the Contractor ordered more stone and found out that quarry that produced the stone have now run out and that he now had to ship this stone from the next country 1500 km away.
The contractor claimed the extra costs plus some hidden profits from the Funding Agency (USAID, DANIDA or EU) and they had to pay. This extra cost had the effect of doubling the total cost of this dam.
Now bureaucrats don’t like their budgets messed with so they called in more playwrights and LAYWERS, note that they did not call in Engineers or Quantity Surveyors, so this lot produced more words that you can shake a stick at.
The result is that we now have another 1914 chapters to any document that we must peruse and bid upon.
So now we often ponder about what the meaning of is, is.
That’s my Day Job to find opportunities in that mangle of words that benefit my company
Dang, sounds like fun...okay, maybe not...
# posted by Lisa W. : 07 October, 2006
Bless you. I sympathize, empathize and just sit slackjawed in wonder at the millions of fuckwits out there.
# posted by Frothmistress : 07 October, 2006
Aren't bureaucracies wonderful?
# posted by Hammer : 08 October, 2006
That sounds like rather less fun than actually building the dam. Voorspoed.
# posted by Libby Spencer : 08 October, 2006
Do you get to wear a hard hat? :)
# posted by MrsJoseGoldbloom : 08 October, 2006
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